mormon
A religion founded by Joseph Smith Jr. (1806-1844). This religion is usually identified with its black pant, short sleeve dress shirt, with a tie, door-knocking missionaries boys. They are not forced to go on missions, but are pressured immensely from family and friends. They also know that if they don't go on missions they cannot get into the " telestial" part of heaven. All who enter the Mormon heaven must have served a mission, be temple worthy and married. When these young men and rarely women go on missions they must server 18-24 months. While on their missions they must not have ANY contact with family except for mothers, father's day and x-mas where they may make one 5-minute phone call. Before these boys go on mission they MUST get family genealogy information, which contains the names of dead relatives. They MUST give these names to the church where they will hold a ceremony for the dead where they baptize the dead. They believe that we are all lost and didn't choose the correct path the first time, so they're going to make sure we're Mormons when we're dead. Because only Mormons get into the top three levels of heaven. Other non-Mormon who don't accept the baptism will be in the lowest form of heaven. In heaven its polygamist, and it's a free for all where everyone is having sex with everyone. But they will not admit that openly when asked face to face. They believe that sex before marriage is equal in sin to Murder. They also believe the masturbation is a sin. Hell is going to be pretty crowded then. They believed that African Americans wore the mark on Cain, that's why there were black and unworthy in the mormon chruch's eyes. The Mormons finally allowed the Black members to hold position of some power only when the NAACP was breathing down their backs in July 1978. By miraculous divine word was told, it was okay now, blacks aren't bad after all. Mormons believe that GOD has a wife, that Jesus and Satan are brothers and that all of them including the Holy Spirit are gods. They also believe that if you're a good enough person here you too will become a god. Mormons don't understand why they are not considered Christians. They believe that only good and pure Mormons are worthy enough to enter their temples (temples are not the same as churches or Wards as they call them.) When my stepson gets married in there WE will not be allowed to see the ceremony because we are not Mormon. Only those who are will be able to see them. No matter how much you love someone, or how you raised him or her, if you're not Mormon you are NOT allowed in. Mormons believe that God stands at the door and pushes it shut for those of other sects and tells them "you're not good enough, you're not worthy go away." Mormonism is the most elitist's and exclusive religion to walk this planet.
The Urban Dictionary Mug
War. War Never Changes. War, war never changes. In the year 1945, my great-great grandfather, serving in the army, wondered when he get to go home to his wife and the son he never see. He got his wish, when the U.S. ended WWII by dropping an atomic cloud on Hiroshima and Nagasaki. The world awaited Armageddon, instead, something miraculous happened. We began to use atomic energy as a nearly limitless source of power. People enjoyed luxury once thought in the realm of science fiction. Domestic robots, fusion powered cars, portable computers. Then, in the 21st century, people awoke from the American dream. Years of consumption led to the shortages of every major resource. The entire world unraveled. Peace became a distant memory. It is now the year 2077, and we stand on the brink of total war, and I am afraid, for myself, for my wife, for my infant son, because if my time in the army taught me one thing; is that war, war never changes.
Excellent satire - didn't see comments to that end, so find it hard to fathom if most readers, in turn, didn't laugh out loud, and say so. But apparently not.
I am gonna buy it and give it to my nine year old brother
Super Funny Mug 😂
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It is amazing I was having a bad day and I read this. My name is Evan and this made me happy
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The description tells nothing but facts. 5 stars instant
Your description is right on, except in 1989 I named my daughter Kallen Mikel (www.kallenmikel.com/original-art). I thought I made up the name, but apparently, it originated as a boy's name in Greek and Hebrew. I first found this out in 2001 when I was traveling to Finland. In the 'tube food' section in a big Finnish supermarket there it was, a royal blue tube of salmon paste with a blonde-haired boy named Kallen! So now I have discovered that there are many Kallen's of both sexes. I want to buy her a cup, but it has 'him' on it. Is there any way you can make that a unisex description for both sexes? Just askin'. Being a Barbara (Barbs) myself ... a 'cake eater' from Edina, MN I had to ask ... haha ;-)
Thank you for the mug. It arrived fast and exceeded my expectations.
I loved my mug and it came in a timely fashion.
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