Montclair
Commuter suburb in Essex County, NJ, about 15 miles from Manhattan. Divided into about three sections. Section 1: The "ghetto" of southeastern and east central Montclair, mostly composed of vaguely derelict multifamily houses and vacant laundromats, and black with a few Sikhs in population. Known as an infamous drug trading area for everyone in suburban Essex County. The area between Glenfield Park and Glen Ridge Avenue is typically considered the worst area, where over 1/2 the businesses are vacant and most of the houses appear to be in a state of disrepair. It is also home to Lackawanna Plaza, a discount shopping center. Black people have lived in the area south of Bloomfield Avenue in East Montclair since the 1700s, and the area north of Bloomfield Avenue is originally a very old Italian neighborhood that is now primarily black, but with some Sikhs. 2. Downtown Montclair-An expanding area centered on the fairly trendy business area around Bloomfield Avenue, Church Street, Fullerton Avenue, Midland Avenue, and Walnut Street. This is home to many boutiques, restaurants, art house movie theaters, bookstores, galleries, and a disordinate number of antique stores for such a small town. The residential areas of Downtown Montclair range from primarily white luxury apartments and restored Victorian two-family houses off Bloomfield Avenue to multimillion dollar houses near Essex Park and down South Mountain Avenue towards the Eagle Rock Reservation. Upper Mountain Avenue in the vicinity of Downtown Montclair is the home of the wealthiest part of Upper Mountain Avenue, which offers multimillion dollar mansions and NYC views, and is arguably the most exclusive street in suburban Essex County. Downtown Montclair has spawned a breed of white rich kids who think of themselves as the hippest, hottest thing in the universe. Most of the people who are Downtown Montclair users are either yuppies, part of an expat community of twenty, thirty, and fortysomethings from NYC, or bored, self-absorbed teenagers. Downtown Montclair also includes most of Claremont Avenue, a somewhat dangerous and deserted residential boulevard. Home of Montclair High School, infamous as home of racial rioting and rich white indie kids. 3. Upper Montclair-The very, very wealthy, totally white and primarily residential area north of Watchung Avenue. Known as the home of private high schools like Lacordaire Academy and Montclair Kimberley Academy, both used by Upper Montclair residents and residents from towns to the west. Upper Montclair is very middle-aged white and teenagery and totally boring and quaint. The main business strip is Valley Road, seconded by Watchung Avenue. People from Downtown Montclair view it as the epitome of the rich white people who they think they aren't, even though Upper Montclair people do happen to be sheltered, obnoxious, and when not old money, act like they're old money. Montclair is, finally, known for the attitude of thinking itself diverse (by the white people) but being, in actuality, totally segregated, even among the black people. The wealthier blacks live towards West Orange while the poorest towards Glenfield Park. It's an ideal example of the hypocritical secret racism by white liberals on a smaller scale, as opposed to the occurence in NYC, which is on too large a scale to thoroughly socially examine.
The Urban Dictionary Mug
I like it, but not a lot. Also, the mugs are overpriced.
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War. War Never Changes. War, war never changes. In the year 1945, my great-great grandfather, serving in the army, wondered when he get to go home to his wife and the son he never see. He got his wish, when the U.S. ended WWII by dropping an atomic cloud on Hiroshima and Nagasaki. The world awaited Armageddon, instead, something miraculous happened. We began to use atomic energy as a nearly limitless source of power. People enjoyed luxury once thought in the realm of science fiction. Domestic robots, fusion powered cars, portable computers. Then, in the 21st century, people awoke from the American dream. Years of consumption led to the shortages of every major resource. The entire world unraveled. Peace became a distant memory. It is now the year 2077, and we stand on the brink of total war, and I am afraid, for myself, for my wife, for my infant son, because if my time in the army taught me one thing; is that war, war never changes.
Excellent satire - didn't see comments to that end, so find it hard to fathom if most readers, in turn, didn't laugh out loud, and say so. But apparently not.
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