Michigan Mug

It's a state of bitter, cocksure alcoholic former blue-collar laborers who can't find decent jobs because Michigan is an economic black-hole. It snows alot, and when it doesn't snow it's extremely fucking hot or ball-shrinkingly cold. Crime runs rampant in its urban centers and life just plain sucks in its small towns due to boredom. There are a lot of lakes, dunes and forests, but people from Michigan couldn't give two fucks about them because they are everywhere, and Michiganders have better things to do like drink and worry about paying bills they have no money for. Naturally, morons from out of state flock in droves to look at things that really aren't that interesting. Michiganders are divided into two groups: Michiganders and Yoopers. Michiganders are like as described before. Yoopers are essentially Canadians, and basically not human. The only thing a Michigander hates more than other Americans and foreigners are Yoopers. Yoopers are too stupid and inbred to consider hating anyone else because they live happy-go-lucky lives as lumberjacks and have sex with their sisters and occasionally a beaver. Yoopers are very proud of themselves despite having little to be proud of, and call southerners "trolls" because they live "under da bridge, don'tcha know." Michiganders seethe with rage about this, but can't do anything about it because the logic is infallible in a retarded sort of way, and also beating up a Yooper is much like striking a child; fun, but frowned upon.