michael angelo batio

Michael Angelo Batio, sometimes called simply "MAB," is the greatest guitarist of all time. With the ability to play upwards of 900 trillion notes per nanosecond on a slow day, he makes makes Herman Li and Yngwie Malmsteen look (and sound) like complete guitar n00bs. He started as the guitarist for 80s hair band Nitro before going on to start a solo career. He has many custom made instruments and gear, most notably the V shaped double guitar and the X shaped quad guitar. He starred in an instruction DVD series called "Speed Kills," so named because if you attempt anything he teaches on the DVDs (or even watch them for that matter) you will die. MAB also invented the hairstyle of having it hang in front of you eyes, but the emo subculture stole it from him. As a result, everytime he sees an emo, he punches them in the face with a soundwave. "The Speed of MAB" is the fastest speed known known to mankind. It is so fast that it is incalcuable by human standards. An object travelling at the Speed of MAB can travel several billion lightyears in a matter of seconds.