May bug
"May bug" (noun) is one of the commonly used names for the cockchafer, a large brown beetle (normally 2-3cm in length as adults) native to Europe. These often emerge as adults during or slightly before May, and are considered crop pests, due to their appetite for vegetation. The cockchafer has a well-established history as a crop pest, and was put in trial in France in 1320, where the beetles were accused of damaging crops. The court ruled that the beetles did in fact damage the crops and were ordered to leave the area, which the beetles ignored, thus proving that the cockchafer is one of many beetles that is above the law. Cockchafers feed on plant matter and are not venomous and do not sting. While cockchafers can fly, they are clumsy, leading them to crash into surfaces, including people and windows. Their long legs feature small spines and hooks that help them grip plants stems, but often lead them to become tangled in hair. Contrary to urban myth that cockchafers crash into people in order to attack them or lay eggs in their hair, cockchafers are generally not aggressive towards humans and much prefer to lay eggs in soil. As they are attracted to light, they can frequently be seen around porch lights between Late and early July.
The Urban Dictionary Mug
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War. War Never Changes. War, war never changes. In the year 1945, my great-great grandfather, serving in the army, wondered when he get to go home to his wife and the son he never see. He got his wish, when the U.S. ended WWII by dropping an atomic cloud on Hiroshima and Nagasaki. The world awaited Armageddon, instead, something miraculous happened. We began to use atomic energy as a nearly limitless source of power. People enjoyed luxury once thought in the realm of science fiction. Domestic robots, fusion powered cars, portable computers. Then, in the 21st century, people awoke from the American dream. Years of consumption led to the shortages of every major resource. The entire world unraveled. Peace became a distant memory. It is now the year 2077, and we stand on the brink of total war, and I am afraid, for myself, for my wife, for my infant son, because if my time in the army taught me one thing; is that war, war never changes.
Excellent satire - didn't see comments to that end, so find it hard to fathom if most readers, in turn, didn't laugh out loud, and say so. But apparently not.
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