Marching Baritone
The heaviest hand-held instrument in the band. Players of the marching baritone will go through the worst kind of hell for the first month or so of the season because of the twenty-pound vertical pull on their arm muscles that they didn't even know they had. They often develop PTSD from the pain and wake up in the middle of the night with war-flashbacks from band camp. Understandably, baritone marchers get hella pissed when trumpets complain about how heavy their instrument is because the baritone is a solid 10-15 pounds heavier. Another drawback of the marching baritone is the bell size which, like the mellophone, completely fucking blocks your forward vision so you can't see the drum major 30% of the time. But despite the satanic training the baritones go through, they will have the fiercest of biceps at the end of the season. Through the blood, sweat, and tears that they shed together the baritone section members have bonded to form a cult of trumpet-loathing Herculeses. Even though every baritone player has stated multiple times that they hate playing their instrument, none of them would give it up for the world. It's definately a love-hate relationship that always ends up tipping more towards the loving side.
The Urban Dictionary Mug
Love the coffee mug. Would have been nice to see who had the word accepted into Urban Dictionary printed on the bottom of the mug. As I was the one. "Dusty Dawg" Other than that I love.
fuck ur mugs i want one for free
This mug, much like a cursed relic unearthed from the depths of despair, embodies a cacophony of design flaws and manufacturing mishaps that make one wonder if it was birthed from the darkest corners of incompetence itself. From its deceptively promising exterior, which boasts a color scheme akin to a bruised banana left out in the sun for too long, to its handle that feels more like a medieval torture device designed to punish the unsuspecting hand that dares to grasp it, every aspect of this mug screams "regret." Its material, a sinister amalgamation of recycled nightmares and shattered dreams, leeches a flavor reminiscent of stale coffee mixed with the tears of disappointed souls into whatever liquid unfortunate enough to be poured within its cursed confines. The rim, jagged and uneven like the edge of a poorly forged blade, guarantees that each sip is a perilous journey fraught with the risk of lip lacerations and existential dread. And let us not forget the bottom of this vessel, where the manufacturer's logo is stamped with all the subtlety of a scarlet letter, branding the user as a victim of their own poor purchasing decisions for all eternity. Indeed, this mug serves as a stark reminder that sometimes, in the vast expanse of consumer goods, there exists a dark abyss where quality and utility fear to tread, leaving only disappointment and regret in their wake.

I think it’s funny and the quality is really good. Shipping was pretty fast too.
Arrived exactly on time( as projected) ;( beautiful blue color 💙 as specified) loving it ! ❤️
Loved the mug! It really suits me, my co-workers love it.
Pissah!

nice.
Sent this to my crush now she has a restraining order on me!!!
Without this mug, my life was but a series of painful unfortunate events. Since it has come into my life, love has followed, joy has followed and dishonour has been disavowed. Sincerely. From the bottom of my heart. Thank you. Please keep up the good work and I hope everyone will find joy as I have one day.
I love the Duh Big Red Truck so much that I have a tattoo. So does my best friend. We’re in our 60s. Woot woot!
my mom (Mia) loves the mug you made it is amazing you made her day #girlboss
I love da gooning mug. now i know how to goon and i can goon with my cool new gooner friends !
We really like our cup!!!
Just as described. Excellent packaging. Timely shipping. No problems here. Thanks!

Just wish it could have had a little more of the text on the mug, but otherwise it's great. What a clever marketing idea to be able to get this on t-shirts and mugs.
I spent the money and directly sent this to be the pettest person ever to a person who was doing this to me. It was awesome
It’s a sturdy ceramic mug. A little pricey, IMO, but I really wanted this definition on a mug. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Just what is needed for someone’s desk during the pandemic and beyond when they have to “MacGuyver” to make things happen.
Best purchase of my life, it's all downhill from here!
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