--Luke Skywalker--

Luke becomes a Jedi Knight, almost shacks up with his sister and defeats the Empire on a weekly basis. On his weekends he enjoys fishing and fucking around with his droid. Before he was a Jedi Knight he was raised by some sand farmers. Apprently there's a big demand for sand on Tatooine. Anyway that sister he almost shacked up with, Princess Laid-ahh, well she's doing a space pirate called Hand's Alone and he totally kicks ass. Back to the plot though, this dude call Old Dirty Ben is actually Obi Wan Ken-to-tha-Obi. He gives Luke a piece so that mofos on the street don't mess with him and teaches him how to work that thing. One time he got in a fight with a Sand People guy (they were Sand Men, but the feminist took care of that) and totally kicked his ass. He got smoked by one in the first film but got his own back. It wasn't in the film, but its heavily implied. Pretty sure thats right. Well later we learn his dad was a prick then he turned good for like 1 minute so that was supposed to make everything ok. I dunno. Luke almost kills him. Thats pretty fucked up. His dad cut his hand off too while they were on Jerry Springer. The show was like "My dad's a douche and blew up a planet" or something. Luke learns shit from Yodel. He's like Kermit, but without the business sense. Kermit ran a tight ship on the Muppet Show. I don't how that Fuzzy Bear or whatever stayed on. I never got any of his jokes! One time Luke Skywalker was on the Muppet Show. It's totally true! I'm pretty sure it's part of the storyline. It fills in the gap between A New Hope and The Empire Strikes Back. So in short Luke starts out a a bit of a dweeb but becomes fairly cool. He get an cool black costume, kicks ass with the lightsaber and can use the force to throw shit at stuff. I guess his dads not so bad. He was a total bad ass for a lot of the good trilogy. He was a dick in the latest three though. Conclusion: --Luke Skywalker-- = dweeb to coolness