Lorenzo Von Matterhorn
Lorenzo Von Matterhorn was born in Switzerland in the spring of 1974. He was placed in a basket and tossed into a river immediately following his birth. After traveling downstream for miles, he was found by a young Milanese woman who raised him, naming his Lorenzo after her father, and Von Matterhorn to reflect his Swiss heritage. Lorenzo was diagnosed with a condition called phallumegally (bigness of penis) at a young age. He grew up unable to ride a bike or feel comfortable in a locker room or a regular pair of shorts. He has applied for penis reduction surgery many times, but the doctors have said that, sadly, that is not an option. He is the founder of Von Matterhorn Industries International Unlimited Global Inc., or VMIIUGI, and was once named billionaire of the week by Big Business Journal. See The Lorenzo Von Matterhorn.
The Urban Dictionary Mug
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