Looe

A scenic Cornish oceanside town in Cornwall, United Kingdom. A popular holiday location, coach trip getaway and place to die for pensioners, past the novelty of the anaemic spit of sand Cornwall County Council had the cheek to call a beach, there is also approximately six thousand sweet shops, bakeries and outlets to purchase overpriced ice cream that has more than likely been handled by prolific teenage masturbators that have yet to wash their hands. It's main claim to nightlife rests on the shoulders of a lone nightclub, the Admiral Boscarne or 'Bozzy' as the local idiom dictates. An otherwise dull looking building that becomes a vibrant den of congenital Herpes and booze-laden dickheads. Sporting the same 5 songs on repeat all night long and girls either somewhat underage or seriously too old to be wearing a spaghetti strap dress, the Boscarne is the one stop shop for unplanned pregnancies, fuckboys getting lairy after their first pint and seriously sketchy dancing - endorsed with a constant police presence. If you happen to be under the age of 50, you will find comfort in knowing that you can always buy your family a games console to keep them entertained, or a Liskeardian from the next town over can provide you with cheap but effective narcotics brewed in a pig trough and mixed with a used condom - gives it that extra hit. Pretty place though.