Logan

Highest form of brilliance. Conqueror of greatness to the highest expertise. Carrier of excellence. A man who's body was chiseled by the gods them self. If one's name is Logan, he shall fear none, unless thy is a fat sea witch. When a Logan opens his blinds in the bright and early morning, he shall find nothing but the pastiest broads on his side of town. Most of which he will never return a phone call to. To be a Logan, one must consume and live only off of the planets finest beer, whiskey, and marijuana. An enemy of god.(but that is besides the point.) On one's bed, rather than pillows, you will find a Logan uses the plumpest breasts to rest his head upon every night. Logan's religion is based off of death metal, and takes part in rituals and ceremonies of fecal burning on neighbor's doorsteps. Why do these ceremonies occur you may ask?...because fuck em that's why. The Logan is known to also have a system of method. L: Lewer into hope O: Obtain ones love G: Get it on A: Abandon emotionally N: Never speak to the broad again.