kalkara
Kalkara is a small village on the island of malta. This mystical place lies within the heart of a time warp which resulted over 15,000 years ago when 3 black holes close to the north star tried to scissor each other but failed. The outcome of this was a primitive society where modern technology seemed non-existant. Common practices in this vast hostile environment include the "annual chasing of the town priest" , the "internation fuck fest of Bessie il-Qahba" and the daily practice commonly known as "window peeping and rock throwing". The culinary skills of this society leave much to be desired. Farming seems to be a yet undiscovered practice and instead the natives chase down stray dogs for 3 days every month in order to provide for the hungry mongrels stuck at home screaming their heads of and scratching at the cave walls with their dirty claws. Suppertime tends to become a barbaric display of nails and baseball bats. One might note that the wildlife around these parts has long been extinct and instead the primitive humans of these parts forage for dust and salty rock to keep the wives quiet. Outside this barrier, a large establishment conveniently called "the rest of them" has been set up. Observation stations can be accessed by climbing down through manholes which are scattered worldwide. Some complain about the dark and the stench in these observation stations to which the earthbound scientist would occasionally reveal a well guarded secret to those with an IQ higher than 10, which is why the locals are still blissfully unaware of their meaningless existence. Considering that you seem to have opposable thumbs and a basic grasp of how to manage a computer, we at the Folklore Understanding Community of Kalkara (F.U.C.K.), assume that your IQ is in fact above this average...thus: **WARNING** The following content may not be suitable for those below the age of -6 and for those residing anywhere beyond the milky way (much apologies to our Pfkd-rian commrades). If you do not satisfy the basic requirements states above, or are a Kalkara native and have requested assistance in order to get here, please, for the love of bob, look away now! "The station you are in is in fact a manhole and nothing else...yes, its a shithole...and trust me thats about all you'll see if you were to see the real thing charlie :) Now go get lunch"
The Urban Dictionary Mug
Love the coffee mug. Would have been nice to see who had the word accepted into Urban Dictionary printed on the bottom of the mug. As I was the one. "Dusty Dawg" Other than that I love.
fuck ur mugs i want one for free
This mug, much like a cursed relic unearthed from the depths of despair, embodies a cacophony of design flaws and manufacturing mishaps that make one wonder if it was birthed from the darkest corners of incompetence itself. From its deceptively promising exterior, which boasts a color scheme akin to a bruised banana left out in the sun for too long, to its handle that feels more like a medieval torture device designed to punish the unsuspecting hand that dares to grasp it, every aspect of this mug screams "regret." Its material, a sinister amalgamation of recycled nightmares and shattered dreams, leeches a flavor reminiscent of stale coffee mixed with the tears of disappointed souls into whatever liquid unfortunate enough to be poured within its cursed confines. The rim, jagged and uneven like the edge of a poorly forged blade, guarantees that each sip is a perilous journey fraught with the risk of lip lacerations and existential dread. And let us not forget the bottom of this vessel, where the manufacturer's logo is stamped with all the subtlety of a scarlet letter, branding the user as a victim of their own poor purchasing decisions for all eternity. Indeed, this mug serves as a stark reminder that sometimes, in the vast expanse of consumer goods, there exists a dark abyss where quality and utility fear to tread, leaving only disappointment and regret in their wake.
I think it’s funny and the quality is really good. Shipping was pretty fast too.
Arrived exactly on time( as projected) ;( beautiful blue color 💙 as specified) loving it ! ❤️
Loved the mug! It really suits me, my co-workers love it.
Pissah!
nice.
Sent this to my crush now she has a restraining order on me!!!
Without this mug, my life was but a series of painful unfortunate events. Since it has come into my life, love has followed, joy has followed and dishonour has been disavowed. Sincerely. From the bottom of my heart. Thank you. Please keep up the good work and I hope everyone will find joy as I have one day.
I love the Duh Big Red Truck so much that I have a tattoo. So does my best friend. We’re in our 60s. Woot woot!
my mom (Mia) loves the mug you made it is amazing you made her day #girlboss
I love da gooning mug. now i know how to goon and i can goon with my cool new gooner friends !
We really like our cup!!!
Just as described. Excellent packaging. Timely shipping. No problems here. Thanks!
Just wish it could have had a little more of the text on the mug, but otherwise it's great. What a clever marketing idea to be able to get this on t-shirts and mugs.
I spent the money and directly sent this to be the pettest person ever to a person who was doing this to me. It was awesome
It’s a sturdy ceramic mug. A little pricey, IMO, but I really wanted this definition on a mug. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Just what is needed for someone’s desk during the pandemic and beyond when they have to “MacGuyver” to make things happen.
Best purchase of my life, it's all downhill from here!
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