Jonathan

Another word for an amazing liar. No lie, a Jonathan makes the polygraph look like a bitch. . Tends to be mediocre-looking, with a boring personality and cruel intentions, but somehow managed to snag hot chicks his entire life up until recently (probably because he's good at playing the nice guy which goes hand-in-hand with the lying). But it soon becomes painfully obvious that the Jonathan is not interested in pretty girls, except for social status. They much prefer ugly girls who clean a lot. A Jonathan excels at stealing these ugly girls from his "friends" and tends to wife them up because he sucks at cleaning. DO NOT, under any circumstances, trust a Jonathan around your homely, housewife fiancée. Next thing you know, you'll be finding her oversized panties behind the couch from when they're hooking up while you're at work. Or better yet, DO let these guys come around if you're engaged to a heffa you're trying to get rid of. A Jonathan will take the grenade for you, so despite all his other shitty qualities, this makes him a real wingman. Jonathans can be easily identified by their blue eyes and standoffish personalities. You also might find them in the company of a single alpha male friend whose behavior the Jonathan will try to emulate, and fail miserably at. But you will not normally find a Jonathan in a large crowd, for they terrify him. Also, most people think Jonathan is a giant douche canoe.