Jon
Jon is a man of great substance, and a teller of tales. Jon would sit on his porch surrounded by the vagrants of the world, telling tales of small butt plugs he maneuvered and McGuyvered in times of need; tales of the seedy underbelly of dildo factories, and tales on how to get a free hamburger on a Tuesday, to name a few. Men were jealous of Jon and women wanted him. They longed for Jon to satisfy them orally as Jon was known as the king of oral pleasure. When Jon performed oral on the lucky women… the geyser like wetness could be heard and seen for miles around. Unsuspecting people would feel drops of fluid dripping down upon them when on evening walks and while grilling burgers in backyards. In addition to the wetness felt blocks away, one could hear a ‘pop’ sound that can only be described as a wet hard hammer hitting a nail. The women Jon performed oral on were sent away after having been serviced. They were never the same. They spent the rest of their lives searching….. searching …. For that feeling again; feeling of explosive intense pleasure. Women would bring sandwiches to Jon and his dog a Charlie but to no avail. Jon would accept their sandwiches and then send them on their way. On warm days one can still smell the deli meat and the despair of the women Jon had turned away time and time again.
The Urban Dictionary Mug
Customer Reviews
ariana grande mug omg this slays mah life
with this we regain gods trust This mug changes my views of humanity. I think we may have a chance of not going extinct. Everyone should own this fantastic mug. Oh it's also has a nice handle.
Oof oof this mug gives me life every single day. i have no other reason to wake up in the morning. also this website is the only thing that's ever loved me.
Perfect Mug My CPacket mug arrived perfectly with the definition of that skid
YOIT Ligma balls bitch. YOOOOOOOIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTT
Deathless but probably comatose verse This cup is a beautiful mug From which I am happy to chug while engaging in jomo (the obverse of fomo), and pulling the ol' cyber plug.
It understands me. this mug has treated me better than any girl i've ever dated, and every bro i've chilled in the same bed with. we've been though thick and thin, but mostly thicc. i used to be depressed, but now this mug holds my existential fears so i dont need to carry them with me. i even wrote a song about my mug: mary had a little mug, e-i-e-i-o how i wonder what you are, floppy dongs near and far, cherri had a real thicc mug, e-i-e-i-despaci-to
Sickm8 it was blooming gr8 for me GF. She bloody loved it. Onya!!!! ;)
I can't stop putting weird things on the cup I love this website 😆
My nut hurts my nut hurts help
Why?! I can't stop doing lewd things to this mug, it keeps on telling me to stop but I respond with hitting it. PLEASE HELP ME! ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
cure my depression really good i love it. also my dog cant stop doing things to it.
I Like This Mug because im thicc and therefor this mug is thicc
Ok These mugs are really easy presents for the people you love i would find the best example of them and then buy and mug and give it to them as a present So simple
Ok it’s a mug drink from it act edgy with it who cares
why i want this mug i want this mug because I LOVE JUDE :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)
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