John

This is my 50th time adding a definition about my name. John is the name of an awesome guy who is gets all of the girls. He's pretty hot, too. Toned body, bushy black hair, and brown eyes. What he doesn't have in body height, he makes up for in a certain lengthy object. John might as well be considered the second coming of Christ, he's perfect in every way, so much so that he's been single his whole life and crying as we speak because that probably won't ever change. After some surfing on www.urbandictionary.com, he found that there are other John's out there in similar situations, and is down anytime to communicate with fellow John's about how women may or may not be constantly plotting against them for reasons so minuscule they might as well be non-existent. John is also constantly mistaken for his inanimate counterpart, and discarded-half brother, the toilet. Women often find it funny to define Johns as shit for this reason. But John's can unite in strong numbers to overcome any and all obstacles, making them a force to be reckoned with. Beware, the John.