Joel

Since the dawning of time, there have been three events that have forever changed the trajectory of human civilization, and uplifted all of humanity. They are the discovery of electricity, the invention of pornography, and the birth of Joel. Joels have been known to save babies from the jaws of hungry republican senators, wrestle bears to the ground with a single finger, donate all their organs and then regenerate them so they can donate them again, win multiple events a day for the entirety of an Olympic games, simultaneously play every instrument in Rush's masterpiece "Tom Sawyer", and dance like nobody is watching, even when others ARE watching. The most gentle, giving, and passionate of lovers, the most loyal and generous of friends, eyes more beautiful than a mountain lake, hair more lush and golden than a field wheat blowing in the prairie wind, and a body that even the worlds best sculptor wouldn't dare change if it were made of his clay. Find a Joel, love a Joel, be loved by a Joel, and experience life as you never would have imagined possible.