jizzwizard

A person (usually male) with alarming proficiency in all things jizz-related. Since this insult will usually be interpreted as considerably homophobic, you may want to avoid using it in the vicinity of furious flamingos. I find it to be more effective as an adjective, which also conveniently takes some emphasis off of the ever-so taboo gay bashing aspect. A perfect example of a jizzwizard candidate would be one of your poor (aka not rich) friends resorting to acting as a beer queer in order to satisfy his alcoholism. The act itself is not what deserves the ridicule, but the pathetic nature of his financial status. If we've learned anything from the wise Patrick Bateman, it's that poor people require considerable derision. (I hope people take that last tangent seriously.)