jesus
A bastard carpenter who was constantly followed by a group of stoners convinced that he was the son of god. He was born the son of a prostitute (stage name: 'The Virgin Mary') and one of a trio of kings who were present at his birth (the impregnation a result of a failed condom during an orgy involving said trio and prostitute) offering child support in the form of gifts so as not to arouse the suspicion of the husband (he was not aware of his wife's 'other' occupation). Jesus (pronounced "ho-zay" but interpreted as "Jee-zus" because the bloody English can't do anything right) would take up carpentry as his trade years later after an incident where he was lost in a dessert for a great many years and failed to pass in his admission essay for law-school by the due date. It was at this time that the druggies appeared into his life, lazily hanging out in the alley next to Jesus' workshop. The exact reason for being dubbed the son of god is still debated by scholars but it is rumored that it had something to do with a neck injury Jesus had sustained, resulting in his wearing of a halo neck brace for a month or so. In approximately 35 AD (Time Paradox?), Jesus was convicted of being a cannibal and vampire after a dinner party at which he supposedly served blood-wine and people-bread. He was crucified and stabbed with a spear (overkill) by a group of hateful Jews. He was resurrected, however, by by a combination of necromancy and T-virusmancy as a zombie. A great many people died by his hands and he went uncontested for many years (he is credited with the Black Death) until a group of religious fanatics lead by L. DaVinci captured and deported him to Mexico. There he lives today, running rampant and sating his bloodlust by killing goats under the alias 'El Chupacabra'.
The Urban Dictionary Mug
I am very please with the mug. Thank you!
ABSOLUTELY LOVED IT BUY IT RN
Was very happy with the customer service team when I had a question. They responded to my email quickly. The mug looks really cool, makes me laugh every time I use it and high quality. I’m in love with it. Thanks!
Haylee My name is haylee sullivan and the mug is describes everything about me and i would rate it at a 5 100% it is awesome
I’m right handed and would’ve liked it better if the handle was on right side with name facing forward instead of having verbiage facing front
girlfriend loved it :) - Ian's Girlfriend
the urge to buy it and write cum on it
Purchased this mug as a Christmas gift. Can’t wait to see the reaction!
This is to test if the Urban Dictionary store rating system is working and not showing fake 5 star reviews.
These are hilarious! Great gifts. Cost seems a bit high but i couldn’t resist.
It’s a great way to store my pencils.
I used this instead of condoms It didn’t work and now my nephew is my son
Ordering was very easy and the delivery to a different address then the billing address was done effortlessly with complete correct order. Was delivered before estimated date which was very exciting. Good job well done by all.
Funny stuff! I wish the mugs cost a bit less, I'd buy more. There's an almost unlimited supply of clever slang.
awesome. came just as ordered.
Nice cup a few words were darker than the rest. But ok
아주 좋은 머그잔 나는 죽은 아버지를 위해 시원한 머그잔을 얻었고 매우 자랑스러워했습니다.
I like the mug, it’s good quality, unfortunately the customization wasn’t correct. I got the “juff” mug and instead of the definition i had a quote from one of my friends as a bit, but it just came with the definition. I’ll still give it to him because the joke still works but I am a little disappointed.
Love the fact that Urban dictionary came up with such an accurate and quick meaning for Binger! Mug was a little pricy but God is my morning coffee so much better in this mug!!
This mug is incredible! It was a great gift for my friend named Jacob, who is definitely gay. (Even though he says he isn't 🙄)
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