jesus
A bastard carpenter who was constantly followed by a group of stoners convinced that he was the son of god. He was born the son of a prostitute (stage name: 'The Virgin Mary') and one of a trio of kings who were present at his birth (the impregnation a result of a failed condom during an orgy involving said trio and prostitute) offering child support in the form of gifts so as not to arouse the suspicion of the husband (he was not aware of his wife's 'other' occupation). Jesus (pronounced "ho-zay" but interpreted as "Jee-zus" because the bloody English can't do anything right) would take up carpentry as his trade years later after an incident where he was lost in a dessert for a great many years and failed to pass in his admission essay for law-school by the due date. It was at this time that the druggies appeared into his life, lazily hanging out in the alley next to Jesus' workshop. The exact reason for being dubbed the son of god is still debated by scholars but it is rumored that it had something to do with a neck injury Jesus had sustained, resulting in his wearing of a halo neck brace for a month or so. In approximately 35 AD (Time Paradox?), Jesus was convicted of being a cannibal and vampire after a dinner party at which he supposedly served blood-wine and people-bread. He was crucified and stabbed with a spear (overkill) by a group of hateful Jews. He was resurrected, however, by by a combination of necromancy and T-virusmancy as a zombie. A great many people died by his hands and he went uncontested for many years (he is credited with the Black Death) until a group of religious fanatics lead by L. DaVinci captured and deported him to Mexico. There he lives today, running rampant and sating his bloodlust by killing goats under the alias 'El Chupacabra'.
The Urban Dictionary Mug
Quick shipping and awesome hysterical product!
I fucked with it for months before i finally ate it.
Great mug! Got a homo mug for a friend's birthday and he adored it. :)
love it
THINGS ARE GETTING A LITTLE WILD AT CAILLOU'S HOUSE!
The thing is amazing. Also everything on the back is true!
Professor - I am loving this ....not all professors are blasted toward intellectualism. I believe smart comes in all different sizes, color, beauty, and personality. I will use this coffee cup proudly. Loving it in Denver. Jax
It was great! Very hard to break and easy to hold! Also very cute
I sent my friend the Wordle URL for her to enjoy. She did her first Wordle and got so excited, she sent me a text including the answer she got. This showed at the top of my screen and I read it - there was no way to un-read it so I was ... wordlefucked for the day!
Solid mug. Funny design. Fair price
My dad hits me with his mug. It's very very durable
I got the Capybara one made by FAUBCOK and it was so good quality!
i loved the mug, gave it to my grandmother on her birthday
The mug is great! I bought it as a gag gift for a friend, and I didn't really think it was going to be a good mug, but when I got it I was super surprised! It is really high quality feeling ceramic and the print is very clear and good looking. It was also packaged really well, and the shipping process was nice too! It did take longer than I thought to get here, but it's understandable as I did order it custom. In all it is an amazing mug and I think I'm gonna have to buy one for myself.
This mug is great! It comes in perfect condition and I love that you can change the definitions! I put my name and then I put the definition as ‘the best person’. Made my day every time I picked it up.
My name is Asher, I looked my name up a few days ago and we all had a good laugh. Now, this mug is my go to morning mug for drinking my herbal tea and plotting to take over the realms.
I just love it. Just like I ordered!
Exactly as promised.
To beginulate, the muglification of the vessel is both pleasing to the eye as well as the hand. Secondly, the option of choosing one's own colors adds to the lessening if the so called " buyer's remorse" which so often accompanies modern "on line" purchases.
My husband absolutely loves this! This was a difficult product to find but it turned out perfectly! He was cracking up. Definitely worth the buy.
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