jesus
A bastard carpenter who was constantly followed by a group of stoners convinced that he was the son of god. He was born the son of a prostitute (stage name: 'The Virgin Mary') and one of a trio of kings who were present at his birth (the impregnation a result of a failed condom during an orgy involving said trio and prostitute) offering child support in the form of gifts so as not to arouse the suspicion of the husband (he was not aware of his wife's 'other' occupation). Jesus (pronounced "ho-zay" but interpreted as "Jee-zus" because the bloody English can't do anything right) would take up carpentry as his trade years later after an incident where he was lost in a dessert for a great many years and failed to pass in his admission essay for law-school by the due date. It was at this time that the druggies appeared into his life, lazily hanging out in the alley next to Jesus' workshop. The exact reason for being dubbed the son of god is still debated by scholars but it is rumored that it had something to do with a neck injury Jesus had sustained, resulting in his wearing of a halo neck brace for a month or so. In approximately 35 AD (Time Paradox?), Jesus was convicted of being a cannibal and vampire after a dinner party at which he supposedly served blood-wine and people-bread. He was crucified and stabbed with a spear (overkill) by a group of hateful Jews. He was resurrected, however, by by a combination of necromancy and T-virusmancy as a zombie. A great many people died by his hands and he went uncontested for many years (he is credited with the Black Death) until a group of religious fanatics lead by L. DaVinci captured and deported him to Mexico. There he lives today, running rampant and sating his bloodlust by killing goats under the alias 'El Chupacabra'.
The Urban Dictionary Mug
It’s a sturdy ceramic mug. A little pricey, IMO, but I really wanted this definition on a mug. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Just what is needed for someone’s desk during the pandemic and beyond when they have to “MacGuyver” to make things happen.
Best purchase of my life, it's all downhill from here!
The Urban Dictionary offers one-of-a-kind products in its Coffee Mugs if you want to purchase something interesting. A bit off-center and not the norm. This is the place to be. Customer service is responsive to your query when asking a question. All Good.
Bought the mug, Holds up like a charm!! I was "Botello'd" by my wife so I think its fitting
Bought the mug. Holds up like a charm. I got "Botello'd" by my wife. Makes me feel nice.
Just as described. A fun line of products. Have already ordered others. Thanks!
You should get the penis mug. It's pretty elite - Elongated Muskrat
Loved how fast this arrived! Fun blast from the past... Dana Hills Dolphins!
It shows exactly what I want!!
its an alright mug. its moderate. mid. not the best. not the worst. pretty normal. if it was the weather it would be 50 degrees F. something so unexperiencing and experiencing at the same time. if it was on a number line, it would be in the center. i rate it a 5/10.
I can't believe my name became a meme. I love this mug.
Got a Fratz at home Love this mug. Fratz means kinda perky darling in my language, and since my darling loves to fratz when I'm around (that's indeed often) this is THE perfect gift for her.
Give me the mug
give me mug
I Really enjoyed to color options and the mug is made of very good material and i will be buy much more in the near future these mugs are the absolute best
Jana loves her mug. Drinks from it everyday and counites to inspire her. Thank you so much for this gift
Best mug ever!
this is actually a good mug
Computerly good
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