Jake Pearson
A gentleman of Chinese origin who was a renowned harlequin during the Prussian Civil War. Well known for his ability to eat metal and divide 9 digit numbers by 7 in his head, he often wore lederhosen and fake fur coats. Born in 1763 in the town of Coffewang, Austria, he spent his early years milking cows, goats and even badgers on a rural farm, joining the circus in 1770 as a juggler. Little is known of the next few years of his life, although by 1784 he was employed as a courthand of King Bendilegs of Latvia. However, due to an unfortunate situation he found himself him with the King's eldest Son (rumour has it they were caught copulating in the Royal Chambers) he was sentenced to be hung as a practicing homosexual (which in that era was a crime punishable by death). The King's son was exiled and travelled to Spain where he took up employment as a minister, but Jake was spared of his fate due to his previous loyalty and ability to amuse the King. He worked from that day on a court jester (harlequin) until his untimely death in 1806 after consuming a tainted slab of marzipan, poisoned by those opposed to the King's proposal to impose a land tax to wealthy landowners that was nearly 3% above the base rate in that region.
The Urban Dictionary Mug
It came faster than I thought it would and it looks great!
i am literally shitting literal bricks please help my asshole is on fire
Looked great, came earlier than expected, and in perfect condition!
It came faster than I thought it would and it looks great!
Ur momgay Very cool it is. mmmmmh very much I like.
Every Aspect of my Order (as First-Time customer) was actually very good, nice. .I ordered a white drinking mug with a Red background with text. would recommend this Site again.
so cool! u can make sarcastic stuff too. i put: sarcasm: being an absolute asshole
Like the mug for my daughter, but didn’t notice that I had color choices when checking out. The yellow was pre-set so I got that color. Would much rather have selected a different color.
Cute, well-made mug! Exactly like the photo. I can't wait to give this as a gift this Christmas!
The description of a person by their names is the realest I’ve ever come across
Mug looks great and everything is spelled correctly.
I love my mug! 💘
the photo is all you need to know.
It’s pretty damn cool
It was a really good hoe mug!!!!!
Exactly what I was hoping for! Great product
My coworkers see all the cups I order from you, and this one is already one of their faves
Just what I expected. Merchandise looked just like it did online. Showed my friends and even they loved the cup! Plan on ordering more merchandise from you guys. Thanks. KLDS
Astounding Mug. I found this Mug in a dark time, the time when I needed a mug the most. I went onto google.net and found this truly amazing piece of craftsmanship. Manny Heffley came out of my computer and started to gyrate, before hopping out completely and eating my asshole. It felts so good, I started shaking and moaning, rapidly convulsing on the floor. Manny Heffley slowly crawled into my, hiding in my womb in order to store his power for 12 months and evolve to the form of "Baby 2". Thank you, Urban Dictionary. This mug changed my life.
Looks great and quick delivery
Review Details
Pro Customization
Create unique products with your own words and definitions
Live Preview
Personalize Your Design
Debug: Product Metadata
| Key | Value (click to copy) |
|---|---|
Copied! |
Return Policy
Made Just For You
Each product is custom-printed with your unique text, making it truly one-of-a-kind.
Defect-Free Guarantee
If your product arrives with printing defects, damage, or quality issues, we'll send you a free replacement.
Custom Orders
Due to the personalized nature of your order, we don't accept returns for change of mind or sizing issues.
Questions about your order? Contact our support team for assistance.