Jacob
This asshole. Sometimes you just want to kick him in the balls but he is too tall and he can literally jump you at any time. Guys named Jacob, only attract to girls named Anna. They will have this deep fetish that affects their daily routines. They will pretend to be fit but they actually just sit at home and eat their bowl of shit. (aka a bowl of literal shit) He spends half his days on Reddit and plays many nerdy games. EU4 is the only thing he would do for hours. He would name countries after his friends and then pretend like he knows where China is but he actually has no clue. When he's lonely, he will tell himself that he is an SCP god but at night he would rant about how he's scared and wants to burn the spider off his bedsheets.
The Urban Dictionary Mug
Arrived carefully packaged

me and the boys when i get vodka mug
I ordered 3 of your mugs, with different names on them. There was a typo in the information about the name on the back of each of the mugs. This wasn’t a dealbreaker because the people who received them liked them. However, it would be nice if somebody who has basic proficiency in spelling English words could proofread the script for all of your names before they’re prepared.
Arrived on time. Great packaging. Communication with vendor was top-notch. High quality item.
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