Jacksonesque

1) - An act of utter self-serving meanness by someone purporting to be doing you a 'favour'; 2) - Pertaining to:- A lie of such staggering scope and proportion that the protagonist often begins to believe it themselves (see 'Munchausen Syndrome by proxy'); A continually-morphing tale involving bizarre range of actors, singers, musicians and scientists and the day he gave them career-assisting help/ advice from which the rest is history; A state of delusion. 3) - An evening/ lifetime involving the heavy consumption of stella artois, weak spliffs and bags of ribs, punctuated by bouts of furious animalistic masterbation to Asian porn, limp-dicked attempts to seduce anything with a pulse and no nose, and collapsing into an item of household furniture, followed by a morning of shoe-staring drunken regret; 4) - The mistaken belief that one is of a different ethnicity to one's own, following the slightest contact with a Reggae CD, and talking for the rest of the evening in a poorly-conceived Jamaican patois; 5) - Pertaining to the taking of an unwarranted 'commission' on goods or services (see Jackson Tax; 6) - A System of Education composing of 14 hours per day 365 days per year watching repeats of 'Top Gear' and The Discovery Channel, after which one attains such high states of knowledge and wisdom as to make Confucius piss the bed.