iPod
What is an iPod? It's a little piece of metal that you plug headphones into and listen to music. I remember when I was seven and we had a device that achieved the same goal - a Discman. You can buy them nowadays for ... ohhh ... somewhere around the proximity of zero dollars. Discmans worked fine back in the day. Now that there is better technology, all of a sudden Discmans are worthless. But why? Discmans never got worse, technology got better. Worthless technology. The concept is to listen to music with no strings attached. Discmans accomplish this just fine. The iPod is capable of holding 10,000 songs. Who the fucking hell needs that much? Of the 80 million+ iPod owners in the world, how many have maxed out the space? Only about 14. Merely fourteen people have successfully filled their iPod. And strangely enough, all of these kids were in the same room at the same time. It was at the annual GROTEFP (Geekiest Rejects on the Entire Fucking Planet) convention. So you like iPods because they're smaller than CD players? That's reasonable, but how much is it worth to you to shave off a few precious inches? The iPod ends up being ten square inches smaller than the average portable CD player. That means a total of about three inches squared. It's only three inches. That's tiny, and for three hundred dollars? Penis enlargment pills offer you an extra three inches, and they're only $40-$50. Now honestly, would you rather have three inches less of audio player or a Discman and huge dick? Size wouldn't even matter then because you could just hang the player from your enormous cock. Now that the size issue is settled, perhaps a Discman isn't the answer because you require more than 3 seconds of anti-skip. Oh, wait! Discmans nowadays don't skip! Ever. That can't be what makes up for the drastic difference in money. The iPod can hold 10,000 songs. The Discman uses CDs which hold usually up to 20 songs. Perhaps you don't want to carry 100 CDs everywhere you go. Oh, wait! Discmans play mp3s now! That's like 100 songs per CD! And unlike an iPod that maxes out at 10,000, Discmans have a removable source. So if we have 100 songs per CD and potentially infinite CDs, that's ... umm ... 100 infinity songs? iPods have rechargable batteries, but so does Ace Hardware store. A bunch of new technology and impressive statistics really don't mean much. When it comes down to it, an iPod isn't that great. So why could it possibly cost so much more money than Discmans, mini disk players, and cheaper mp3 players?
The Urban Dictionary Mug
Bought this without checking the back for my 12 year old cousin's birthday who adores trains! He's a lil autistic. I thought to 'run a train' meant to work on it and keep it running, much like my cousin is always talking about how he wants to drive a train. I was distraught to hear him turn over the mug on his bday in front of his two very strict puritan parents. My auntie and uncle are threatening to put me on a list now and threatening to sue me for defamation or some shit idk i didnt go to law school cus im not a nerd lols. (unlike them who both went to university) i got a kick ass job as a bouncer for an under 18s club - youd be surprised how big 12 year olds get- but they are just stupid. im worried i might get fired if this leaks.) Thanks a bunch! (sarcasn) - im feeling p down atm, if anyone could cheer me up, my number is 0800 1111, if anyone wants to do whats on the mug LOL (serious). btw, i kept the mug for myself since i found it decently adequate and quite tasteful. /srs
Thanks guys, I knew I was hot but not *that* hot
Great way to wake up and clear your head every morning with the reminder of the day you woke up dumb enough to spend $32.95 for a basic coffee mug
Couldn't wait until the mug got home. Immediately after i bought it i wet myself. I couldn't help it. I got so bored of waiting i ordered 5 more mugs. And then another 5. And then ANOTHER 5. And now i have fucking 60 mugs that say schizophrenia on them. I only intended on gifting this mug to my schizophrenic younger sibling as a last gift before i inevitably must suffocate him with his own pillow. Now with all these mugs and have decided to put one mug on the old couple across the street's doorstep each day until eventually they are convinced that they are schizophrenic and see things that aren't there. Next i will get them to be taken to a mental institute where they will be locked up to live in an all-white facility for the rest of their lives. My hope is that i can do this to all of the neighbors on my street so i can finally get enough space so that i can run my hamster experiments in peace without my neighbors always wonder what the small hamster screams coming from my basement are. Anyways nice mug 8/10.
I dont remember writing "I have dementia" in this cup ? a bit strange... nice cup tho.
I dont even own the mug. I just wanted to write a review about how epic it is>>> fuck you
my kids loved it. delicious and a great snack. would buy again.
it was great 💀
Gave it to my girl, she loved it.
Best mug I have ever had
love shoving it up my ass on a daily!!!!!
WOW THIS MUG MATCHES MY NAME I'M DEFINITELY GETTING THIS FOR MY BIRTHDAY
WOW I LOVE THIS SO MUCH IT EVEN MATCHES MY NAME! I'm definitely getting this mug for my birthday!
I got morb’d
This jar is amazing for vomiting in! i definitely recommend if you have ugly kids!
This cup is cool. I farted on it and my butt tickled
Perfect customized gift- super easy and quick to do and the order arrived in under a week!
Smaller than I expected for the price.
i use my mug for sperm donation
10/10, great for taking a massive shit in. Overflows if its more than 2 pounds, but its part of the fun, right?
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