Hon

A female from the Hampden or Highlandtown neighborhoods of Baltimore. Generally women do nor reach hon status until they are over 40. She is either 30 lbs overweight or 30 lbs underweight. Her teeth are crooked or missing. She wears a bathrobe all day (known in hon land as a housecoat). She may have curlers in her hair in broad daylight. Maybe even at the Motor Vehicles Administration when she has her picture taken for her driver's license. She smokes. She may have an oxygen tank that she pulls along with her dog when she takes him for a stroll. If she does have a dog, its a Pitbull. If she doesn't, she has numerous cats who all hang out on her front porch. She lives in a rowhouse with her husband who is probably a lot skinner than her. Her porch and front yard are intensely decorated with all manner of statuettes---trolls, Virgin Marys, pink flamingos are hon favorites. There is probably some sort of shrine to the Orioles or the Ravens as well and a birdbath and some seasonal items. She speaks loudly and with an Xtreme Bawlmore accent. Do not not let her appearance and manner of speaking scare you. She is as sweet as pie. She'll call YOU "hon" and if you're from Bawlmore, you'll wave and say "How you doin Deelores?" to which she'll reply something along the lines of "Can't complain hon. Can't complain." Her forbears were immortalized by John Waters in the Movie "Hair Spray." Please see the movie for further honformation.