hitchhiker

A clingy, highly potent fart, with a sharp tang. The hitchhiker often appears at tense social gatherings and high protocol events, in which farting with discretion is mandatory at all times. One's cover is blown as the farter's poison spreads and clings to clothing and accessories, leaving a comet trail of scent behind or even advancing before the person in question, all but raising a flag of undeniable guilt. Winston Churchill was infamous for his "hitchhikers", and he used them shrewdly and strategically to gain leverage with diplomats and dignitaries. Some clairvoyants and mystics can actually see the fart shape or fart avatar of the hitchhiker as it follows its "host" around the room. Also known as the ballroom blitz, cushion creeper, and theNatchez Ninja.