hipster

Contrary to popular belief, the hipster ranges in age from teenager all the way up to elderly and everywhere in between. Younger hipsters generally receive their hipster indoctrination from elder burned-out hipsters and hippies who masquerade as qualified teachers and professors. They can be spotted wearing carefully ill-fitting clothes, about a size too small, in order to project an image of poverty-chic. Hipsterism requires strict obedience to recycling rituals, and a prohibition of creating new ideas or items. Subsequently, the hipster will generally be seen wearing logos from mid to late 20th Century capitalist brands. They also like to wear fashion-glasses in order to project a false image of intelligence. They possess a deep misunderstanding of the word ironic, preferring to use the definition from Alanis Morisette's song rather than the dictionary. Hipsters generate unusual and offensive odors due to their affinity for organic human waste products and a natural aversion to personal hygiene. In the male of the species, you can spot clouds of fleas living in their beards off of uneaten bits of cafe fare. In the female of the species, fleas can be found in their unshaven armpit hair.