Hipstellectual

Not hip enough to be a hipster, not smart enough to be an intellectual, a true hipstellectual fancies himself both. Typical traits include an obsession with the Colbert Report, writing terrible symbolist poetry while laughing at the slightly-more-bearable goth/emo writing scene at DeviantArt, starting a favorite list of books on a social networking site with Al Franken, describing one's religious views on aforementioned social networking site as two obscure quatro-syllabic words pulled straight off of Wikipedia, refusing to shop at any other store than Hot Topic and lambasting those who criticize him/her for it, wearing last year's fashions, quoting in-jokes from last year, writing biased reviews of media the writer has no authority in, and a skin-and-bones physique caused by veganism, running from riot cops, or both. A hipstellectual is the worst of both worlds, bringing both pseudo-intellectualism and hilariously-mismatching outfits to any clique he attempts to join. Any attempt at conversation with these individuals quickly results in an argument about their favorite topics: politics, fashion, and veganism, in that order. People wishing to talk about something other than Obama's foreign policy and "war for oil" should probably venture elsewhere. Despite claiming to be social butterflies of the highest caliber, hipstellectuals are often closet gamers who are too scared to be alone to play anything other than terrible, terrible MMORPGs.