Hexcel

Formally known as "Excel," but complements of the rage (and eye spasms) you feel from spending mind numbing hours in front of the computer screen working on spreadsheets, v-lookups, pivot tables, sumifs, conditional formatting, OCD formatting standards and blah blah blah, you can now only refer to it vehemently as "Hexcel." You direct this bitterness toward your computer screen as you feel your eyes could melt away from the exponential amount of size six font you constantly stare at and scroll through. You also feel that human contact is no longer an aspect of your job -- any and all conversing you partake in is done strictly through e-mail (even if the person you need to ask a question is a mere two feet away). This leaves you only more time to stare at Hexcel, becoming ever aware of how this program has "hexed" your life because you have recently been experiencing the early signs of carpel tunnel, blindness and internal combustion.