Hell Week

Usually found around midterms & finals. It’s a widely understood fact that prior to Hell Week, professors meet & discuss ways to purposefully create schedules with 3 midterms on the same day you’ve 2 papers & a group project due, all in addition to your normal homework load & extra-curricular activities. In Hell Week, many students' imaginations run wild in an attempt to rationalize 'why this is happening to them.' Some will consider dropping out & going to work 'full-time' at the Subway they currently work at. Others (most, in fact) will go through 4 stages during hell week: Denial: You party the weekend before, procrasturbate instead of writing your paper & spend time pointlessly stalking everyone you never knew on facebook; you can always cram, right? Anger: You begin to look at what you need to study or write. How could they assign this much material? Are they insane? This is inhumane-you should contact the ACLU! Fear: It's the night before your first tests, & you're freaking out. You've no idea why there’re 1,052 ways to conjugate this word in that stupid-ass-language & you really don't care what the hell a derivative is. What're your parents going to say when you tank these tests? Shit it's 11:30pm & the fuckin unstarted paper is due after those exams! Acceptance: In the final minutes leading up to the tests you finally realize all you can do is bend over your desk & let the subjects you despise so much violently violate you in the worst ways imaginable.