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Hallmark Keepsake Ornaments

Small plastic trinkets, generally made in China, that are sold nearly year-round in Hallmark stores across America. These items are almost completely worthless, though many insist that they are extremely collectible. Though generally cheaply made, these ornaments have the power to cast a spell over those who buy them, often resulting in customers spending well over $600 to own each and every one (and then ending up storing them in an attic because NO ONE has enough room to hang them all). To perpetuate this madness, Hallmark executives formed a Keepsake Ornament Collector's Club, which has a surprisingly large number of members. For the low, low price of $25, members can choose two inherently ugly "club exclusive" ornaments and receive their very own paper membership cards. Then they have the option of buying other "club exclusive" ornaments that are sure to have great value to other rabid collectors in the future. Of course, what the executives do not want the public to know is that any "club exclusive" ornaments not sold by Christmas will be available to the general public. Keepsake Ornaments are released every year in early July (at a sickening event known as "Ornament Premiere"), and remain up until well after Christmas. Hardcore collectors can start ordering them in early June, when the ornament catalogue (inappropriately titled the "Dreambook") becomes available in Hallmark stores. Sane people, of course, have learned to avoid the ornament premiere, thus sparing themselves from seeing the disturbing sight of a poor college student sweating in a Christmas sweater and passing out Christmas cookies when everyone else in the store is walking around in shorts and tank tops.

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The Urban Dictionary Mug

Ceramic mug (11 oz)
Printed on-demand just for you
Dishwasher safe
Microwave safe
Word on front, definition on back
Comfortable handle
Every order personally reviewed
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15

mug gud, got it for my gf but mug just made her pregananant. Help pliz mug says its going after my thicc mum next. pliz send help

Hero N.Nov 22

I love the personalized mug I got from you! I never thought there were mugs available like the one I got and it's going to make the BEST holiday gift! Thank-you!!

Linda Z.Nov 22
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My friend and I added a word ! Gotta get merch of it now. Thanks for the coffee mug!

Christopher M.Nov 22
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Easy to order quality mug.

Scott B.Nov 21
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It’s cute and wasn’t broken when it shipped. Just smaller than expected

Kara L.Nov 21
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I got it in the mail. then The next day it was sleeping with My non Existant Gf

John C.Nov 20

I thought this mug was a bear.

MeNov 20

it is pretty good but not all of it describes me god bless all Nevaeh's

NevaehNov 20

i love it i love this mug my boyfriend got this for me as a gift i love it very much i highly recommend this for you or a loved one it is very good i am planning to get my mans one on his birthday i hope he will love it thanks guys for listening

gay elNov 20

EEEEEEEEEEEEEHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA :))))))))

Anderson C.Nov 19
Review by Mary P.

This was a phrase my husband and I made up even we first started dating. We laughed so hard while submitting it. The mug is perfect!

Mary P.Nov 19
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Urban Dictionary. Mixes truth with lies. Keeps a record. Thanks for the truthful parts, bro. 🙏💪✝️

Jesus C.Nov 18

I wish I had this mug I SOOOO wish I had this mug! I never find anything that has my name on it unless I have it custom made. I'm actually quite surprised that 'Lani' is on the Urban Dictionary... And the definition is pretty accurate ;)

Lani ConradNov 17

really awesome mug I gave this mug as a secret Santa gift and and my cousin still uses it to this day. It is truly a awesome mug and it deserves 5 stars.

dominiqueNov 17

i shit in it

mommy m.Nov 16

I cumed in my pants when it arrived in the mail. no more porn, just mug

taylor c.Nov 16

i love it. my friend loved it. yay. now i'm happy and not depressed anymore.

skibidi f.Nov 16

You can't get a mug from any other dictionary site

Suchart S.Nov 15

Was quality and delivered quick our friend loved it!

Stanley F.Nov 15
✓ Verified Purchase

Quality and style are outstanding relative to price point.

James G.Nov 15
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Made Just For You

Each product is custom-printed with your unique text, making it truly one-of-a-kind.

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