Hallmark Keepsake Ornaments
Small plastic trinkets, generally made in China, that are sold nearly year-round in Hallmark stores across America. These items are almost completely worthless, though many insist that they are extremely collectible. Though generally cheaply made, these ornaments have the power to cast a spell over those who buy them, often resulting in customers spending well over $600 to own each and every one (and then ending up storing them in an attic because NO ONE has enough room to hang them all). To perpetuate this madness, Hallmark executives formed a Keepsake Ornament Collector's Club, which has a surprisingly large number of members. For the low, low price of $25, members can choose two inherently ugly "club exclusive" ornaments and receive their very own paper membership cards. Then they have the option of buying other "club exclusive" ornaments that are sure to have great value to other rabid collectors in the future. Of course, what the executives do not want the public to know is that any "club exclusive" ornaments not sold by Christmas will be available to the general public. Keepsake Ornaments are released every year in early July (at a sickening event known as "Ornament Premiere"), and remain up until well after Christmas. Hardcore collectors can start ordering them in early June, when the ornament catalogue (inappropriately titled the "Dreambook") becomes available in Hallmark stores. Sane people, of course, have learned to avoid the ornament premiere, thus sparing themselves from seeing the disturbing sight of a poor college student sweating in a Christmas sweater and passing out Christmas cookies when everyone else in the store is walking around in shorts and tank tops.
The Urban Dictionary Mug
Nice, but I need the “Reservation Dogs” version of “Aho!”
The mug is a gift for our Fantasy Football league winner…or loser. I'm not sure yet; it's a bit of a spoof that will be disclosed on Thanksgiving.
Love it just like your ranking to be noticed at 4 to stabilize with bots at 5 but looks real
Perfect Mug My CPacket mug arrived perfectly with the definition of that skid
My real first name is Ancil and I must say this is by far the greatest thing I have ever seen in my life and I love you all.
YOIT Ligma balls bitch. YOOOOOOOIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTT
What is there to say? It's a mug, with a word in front and the definition in back. Nicely done!
This will be the perfect gift this winter! It even came in a nice little box. The mug seems to be of good quality. It was a bit pricy, got to be honest, but it’ll be very well received.
Deathless but probably comatose verse This cup is a beautiful mug From which I am happy to chug while engaging in jomo (the obverse of fomo), and pulling the ol' cyber plug.
The mug is just the right size, and the graphics are awesome!
This mug... this mug gave me a feeling that I can only describe as pure euphoria. The 'MRI - Man's a Real Idiot' mug is truly a gift from above. I cannot express how happy I am with it. When it arrived at my front door, it was a moment of epiphany for myself. My eyes were opened. I understood what was missing in my life... and it was that very mug. Whoever created it is truly gifted. I bless them. You too could purchase it, although the price may seem high at first, for what it is, it is the greatest deal one could ever make.
Would have like the entire cup with purple color. Not just the part with the slogan. It's a nice cup!
Wow! Outstanding mug! I strive to be swoogish one day
It was fantastic very good quality.
Was purchased as a gift . Very well received . Easy ordering . Arrived earlier than predicted.excellent quality. Would recommend to friends and family and will definitely order again in the future.
The mug I ordered came in perfect shape In a box obviously designed for safe shipping. Quality is beautiful and is exactly as described. Thank you!
ABSOLUTE ART WORK!!!!! This is literally the best mug in the world. My entire family has one (wife, 2 daughters, and 3 sons). I would definitely recommend and place it as a mounoment.
Hilarious, I couldn't help but burst out loud in laughter.... !!!
It understands me. this mug has treated me better than any girl i've ever dated, and every bro i've chilled in the same bed with. we've been though thick and thin, but mostly thicc. i used to be depressed, but now this mug holds my existential fears so i dont need to carry them with me. i even wrote a song about my mug: mary had a little mug, e-i-e-i-o how i wonder what you are, floppy dongs near and far, cherri had a real thicc mug, e-i-e-i-despaci-to
Great mug, 100% recommend it for all family members! Best gift I’ve ever received!!!
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