God
Executive producer of the live-feed reality show known as “The Universe.” “The Universe” consists mostly of empty space with an occasional star, wherein nuclear fusion produces heavier elements that can bond to each other and form planets. Once planets are pieced together from these elements, the elements can form amino acids capable of developing into microbial life that, over billions of years, evolve into sentient creatures. For God, the amusement of viewing “The Universe” is the point at which each planet evolves semi-intelligent entities capable of questioning the meaning of their existence. These entities, due to their desire to resolve these questions in a limited amount of time with a limited amount of information, are forced to answer these questions in haste. Such haste gives birth to a wide array of ill-conceived religions, each claiming a monopoly on the ultimate truth, which inevitably leads to conflicts with members of other religious ideologies that developed in a different spatiotemporal locale. These conflicts arise at different times throughout the cosmos due to widely varying onsets of planet formation and evolutionary development, allowing God to view a continuous stream of addictive programming once the first form of semi-intelligent life has developed. Upon the expiration of each participant’s biological contract, God transfers the participant’s soul to an ethereal location and greets them with several megatons of high-grade cosmic marijuana. Once stoned, participants are joined with both friends and enemies and invited to view the ultimate blooper reel from “The Universe.” This compilation will feature the most absurd conflicts that have arisen on planets throughout the cosmos, showcasing the utter insanity of social, political, and religious institutions.
The Urban Dictionary Mug
very cool kanye for me gave it to my crush and now were dating so yea
I bought a Prone mug and i love it its so good imma prone to the bathroom now brb
This mug gives my life purpose. It's what I've always said. Patience is a virtue and hard work never betrays. Ever since I was born I've been struck with one misfortune after another, but today it all paid off. I got my own mug, and I use it anywhere and whenever I can! Both of my legs are shattered because to my wife threw me in the middle of traffic and my windpipe is messed up due to me screaming all the way from the crash site to the hospital thanks to the unbearable pain I was feeling. Although even with all that's happened this is still the best day of my life. I suppose the only problem I have is that whenever I happen to look at my cup I get a little too happy. That causes problems because my life support can't handle my exhilaration, haha! I'm just kidding; that was just a little lighthearted joke of mine. I actually cannot afford life support because I spent all of my life savings on this fine piece of pottery. Not to worry though! I can get through the pain with my will and drugs - I mean medication. P.S. There are definitely no ghosts in the mugs. Just wanted to point that out in case someone was worried about that.
I bought two mugs as gifts for coworkers and they were very pleased. The print was clear and concise. Hopefully they last a long time.
Ordered a gift for a friend I hope he likes it :)
Mug was well-packed when received. Shipping was timely. The mug was as advertised. Very nice.
BEST THING EVER. CUZ YK WHAT!!?!? IT. IS. A. MUG. WITH MY NAME. AND. A COOL DESCRIPTION. ON. IT. I LOVE IT.
Just what I expected! Thank you!
I bought this friggin thing thinking my whole life would change. Guess what? It still sucks! If this friggin thing can't change my life then I don't want it!
This is a great gift to give after our Urban Dictionary inclusion
It's perfect!! Thank you!
My Name is Walter Hardwell White, My Mug was sent to 308 Negra Aroyal Lane, AQ, New Mexico and arrived on-time and I am very satisfied. My "Glock Dookie" mug is great for my lab work, and my friend Pinkman loves it!
I love this cup! My now ex-husband loves his opioids more than life itself. He would constantly pass out dead to the world the only thing I would here was his death moans. I had to call an aid car for him so many time that I can't remember plus 2 or 3 times the doctors told me that if it wasn't for me, he would have died. Her abandoned me after I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer because I was of no use to him any longer. I have no clue now who must be the one that's obligated to save his life any longer. All I know is I'm free from him now. The only thing I'm waiting for is that he finally overdoses himself & he's dead. I am buying a cup to send to him for our divorce anniversary gift so he can keep it in memory of how he treated me.
I loved it! Excellent quality!
I received the mug as a gift from a friend with whom I exchange "Weekaversary" eMails. I love the concept but am wondering why "aniversary" is spelled with only one "n?"
Wish it had the example text as well, but I loved it anyway
It’s great to be able to create your own mug.
My name is is Geet and literally this is literally a gem of a souvenir to have with me XD.
I love to put my lips on this in the morning
this mug got me hard
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