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Gnat

AKA Friut Fly AKA Nature's Asshole At birth, gnats are given three objectives in life that they feverishly carry out with as much enthusiasm as a swinger at a wife swap. First, they must at all costs have an innate desire to locate the nostrils of homosapiens and fly straight in to them no matter how visiously they are swatted at. Second, baring deflection from nostril penetration, they are given an intense sexual desire to mate with the human uvula. Typically the man or woman being attacked are so busy shouting obsenities at the gnat so as to allow easy access in to the mouth and straight to the back of the throat. Third, they are drawn to the sweet, sweet odor of feces. This causes a high concentration of the little assholes where ever there is a place mired in shit, such as open sewage lines, and your work place. Presently there is no way to destroy gnats permantly, however a good clapping of the hands have brought many a gnat to their compressed demise. In 1915 a Dutch farmer, after becoming violently enraged from swallowing one to many gnats over a humid summer, devised a gnat trap which are still in use to day. Striking a blow for human kind everywhere these traps are comprised of sucrose water made to smell like the uvula which draw gnats in and drown them in a watery tomb. This of course is only a temporary measure as they tend to re-appear a week later after one of your asshole co-workers leaves a banana to brown on his desk thus starting the cycle over again.

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The Urban Dictionary Mug

Ceramic mug (11 oz)
Printed on-demand just for you
Dishwasher safe
Microwave safe
Word on front, definition on back
Comfortable handle
Every order personally reviewed
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Came out just as described! Had the full definition. Very pleased!

Andrew O. Jan 2
✓ Verified Purchase

Perfect gift As a joke I gave one to my mate but I costumised it. It said tom drunk 24/7 ugly and got lovely hair. The lovely hair part was a joke coz he don’t have any. It was his favourite gift he got for his birthday and he drinks his beer out of it 😂

Tia Jan 2

Great mug…. Got one for Cole M.’s girlfriend.

Hans C. Jan 1

I ordered a customized mug for my gf and everything came out well. There were no autocorrect mistakes and the mug was unscratched. Would shop here again

Benjamin P. Jan 1
✓ Verified Purchase

Also got one for Cole M.'s girlfriend, even faster sex.

Big D. Jan 1

Istgd imma force my mum to buy this idek hw i find out but this shit looks fucking fire

yo m. Jan 1
Review by Bradley J.

Perfect coffee cup for a hockey fan. Great conversation starter.

Bradley J. Jan 1
✓ Verified Purchase

Perfect gift! My husband loved it. So funny and clever!

karen b. Dec 31
✓ Verified Purchase

Great mug… got one for my girlfriend… instant sex

Cole M. Dec 31
✓ Verified Purchase

As always, these are well made mugs that stand up to most anything. And they make perfect gifts (in this case for dirty-minded members of a wedding party). I’m extremely pleased.

Etan N. Dec 31
✓ Verified Purchase

Is a great mug that I purchased as a gag gift for a coworker. You know the one who also as interesting words/phrases that only urban dictionary can explain. Great as a coffee mug and better as conversation piece!

JULIE K. Dec 30
✓ Verified Purchase

👍

Matthew K. Dec 30
✓ Verified Purchase
Review by Rhodrey S.

The mug exceeded my expectations. Really excellent quality and build

Rhodrey S. Dec 30
✓ Verified Purchase

Jim, you’re a fucking idiot interfering with accurate ratings and legitimate feedback. Get a hobby.

Everyone Dec 30

Great gift!

Christina S. Dec 29
✓ Verified Purchase

A little spendy, but worth it.

Richard D. Dec 29
✓ Verified Purchase

My wife kept talking about "ways out" being a Denver version of "psych" and she was right, so I got her this once I found it on UD. She loved it!

Nima K. Dec 29
✓ Verified Purchase

It's a great mug, will reccomend to family members my grandma gave me this mug for christmas and it was by far the best gift i got.

Kyle Birchfield Dec 28

It arrived three weeks after ordering but given the holiday rush and inability of shipping to keep on schedule arrived late but was perfect little gift from me to my wife for her morning coffee with her "nickname" on the mug.

Bill W. Dec 28
✓ Verified Purchase

I liked the photo on your website and so I ordered the mug. You sent it right away, and it looks great!

John L. Dec 28
✓ Verified Purchase

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