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Gnat

AKA Friut Fly AKA Nature's Asshole At birth, gnats are given three objectives in life that they feverishly carry out with as much enthusiasm as a swinger at a wife swap. First, they must at all costs have an innate desire to locate the nostrils of homosapiens and fly straight in to them no matter how visiously they are swatted at. Second, baring deflection from nostril penetration, they are given an intense sexual desire to mate with the human uvula. Typically the man or woman being attacked are so busy shouting obsenities at the gnat so as to allow easy access in to the mouth and straight to the back of the throat. Third, they are drawn to the sweet, sweet odor of feces. This causes a high concentration of the little assholes where ever there is a place mired in shit, such as open sewage lines, and your work place. Presently there is no way to destroy gnats permantly, however a good clapping of the hands have brought many a gnat to their compressed demise. In 1915 a Dutch farmer, after becoming violently enraged from swallowing one to many gnats over a humid summer, devised a gnat trap which are still in use to day. Striking a blow for human kind everywhere these traps are comprised of sucrose water made to smell like the uvula which draw gnats in and drown them in a watery tomb. This of course is only a temporary measure as they tend to re-appear a week later after one of your asshole co-workers leaves a banana to brown on his desk thus starting the cycle over again.

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The Urban Dictionary Mug

Ceramic mug (11 oz)
Printed on-demand just for you
Dishwasher safe
Microwave safe
Word on front, definition on back
Comfortable handle
Every order personally reviewed
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Review by anonymous  ..

nice.

anonymous .. Mar 15

Sent this to my crush now she has a restraining order on me!!!

Fuck U. Mar 15

Without this mug, my life was but a series of painful unfortunate events. Since it has come into my life, love has followed, joy has followed and dishonour has been disavowed. Sincerely. From the bottom of my heart. Thank you. Please keep up the good work and I hope everyone will find joy as I have one day.

Matty B. Mar 15

I love the Duh Big Red Truck so much that I have a tattoo. So does my best friend. We’re in our 60s. Woot woot!

Linda J. Mar 15
✓ Verified Purchase

my mom (Mia) loves the mug you made it is amazing you made her day #girlboss

Kaitlyn M. Mar 14

I love da gooning mug. now i know how to goon and i can goon with my cool new gooner friends !

Isaiah T. Mar 14

We really like our cup!!!

Gary M. Mar 14
✓ Verified Purchase

Just as described. Excellent packaging. Timely shipping. No problems here. Thanks!

RICK G. Mar 14
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Review by Cary B.

Just wish it could have had a little more of the text on the mug, but otherwise it's great. What a clever marketing idea to be able to get this on t-shirts and mugs.

Cary B. Mar 13
✓ Verified Purchase

I spent the money and directly sent this to be the pettest person ever to a person who was doing this to me. It was awesome

Jane s. Mar 11

It’s a sturdy ceramic mug. A little pricey, IMO, but I really wanted this definition on a mug. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Megan H. Mar 11
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Review by Francis B.

Just what is needed for someone’s desk during the pandemic and beyond when they have to “MacGuyver” to make things happen.

Francis B. Mar 11
✓ Verified Purchase

Best purchase of my life, it's all downhill from here!

Kathleen S. Mar 10

The Urban Dictionary offers one-of-a-kind products in its Coffee Mugs if you want to purchase something interesting. A bit off-center and not the norm. This is the place to be. Customer service is responsive to your query when asking a question. All Good.

Stephen N. Mar 10
✓ Verified Purchase

Bought the mug, Holds up like a charm!! I was "Botello'd" by my wife so I think its fitting

Nirem P. Mar 9

Bought the mug. Holds up like a charm. I got "Botello'd" by my wife. Makes me feel nice.

Russell R. Mar 9

Just as described. A fun line of products. Have already ordered others. Thanks!

RICK G. Mar 9
✓ Verified Purchase

You should get the penis mug. It's pretty elite - Elongated Muskrat

Elongated M. Mar 8
Review by tiffany a.

Loved how fast this arrived! Fun blast from the past... Dana Hills Dolphins!

tiffany a. Mar 7
✓ Verified Purchase
Review by Jonah c.

It shows exactly what I want!!

Jonah c. Mar 7

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