General Tso

General Tso was a Chinese general who once served under the Rangoon Dynasty. Little is known about him, and most information comes from anonymous biographers and disgruntled old Chinese restaurant owners (also anonymous.) Though we know very nothing about his early life and career, General Tso was famous for his favorite recipe -- a chicken dish which would come to be named after him. It is said that Tso first discovered General Tso's chicken when he was trying to make a traditional dish known as "Completely Lame-foo-yung Chicken" and accidentally spilled three pounds of awesome into the pot. The result was the delicious and deadly General Tso's chicken, which he used to conquer all of eastern Asia in the name of the Rangoon Dynasty. Modern General Tso's Chicken is made with an artificial version of the awesome used in the traditional recipe, in order to avoid exploding the heads of customers at Chinese restaurants everywhere.