fraggot

A fratboy. There is a very specific doucheness to them. Trust fund wasps who quote unquote rock rainbows, partially popped polos, pleated khakis, don't let me tell you about them, let them speak for themselves. The following is a manifesto: I live in a frat house. I go to frat parties. I can recite the Greek alphabet before the fire of a match burns out. I can rattle off all of my founding fathers as well as my fraternity obligations, but I don't know the words to my school song or my accounting professor's last name. I don't go to class. I never study. I devise elaborate schemes to cheat on my exams. I don't buy books. I pay people to write my papers. I have an endless supply of doctor notes from student health. I give more than $2,000 of my parents' money in social dues each year to promote my frat's alcoholism problem. I drink because I am cool. I drink a lot because I am cooler than you. I urinate in public. I do keg stands and have keg parties. I am the master at drinking games. I own you in quarters. I have never not drinken in the game "I never". If I can't find my beer bong I know I can find one next door. I don't binge drink-I continually drink. I have a pre-party for the "pre-party". I own one baseball hat. I live in my khakis. I don't own a shirt that is not polo, lacoste, brooks brothers, or vineyard vines. All my ties are vineyard vines. Sometimes I wear sandals in the winter because I can. I drive a bmw my dad paid for, and when charged with speeding, careless and wreckless, and DUI, I bought it off my record. My hair is a mess yet totally in style. Ladies love me, but more importantly, I know ladies love me.