florida Mug

tourism & retirement bby. if you go down to orlando, you're either in a theme park or the gettoh. which, coincidentally, can be found within about 45 minutes from anywhere else. most southern are beach towns & it basically becomes cuba. the keys are pretty much orlando via small islands. yes, there are alligators. no, we don't walk to disney every day. the temperature ranges from hot to hotter, although it actually can snow in SOME places very rarely. up in whatever the hell that little place is that isn't america's penis, well. if you live there, you probably can't afford a computer. or you just can't read, so i don't even have to explain. along the mid-coast is actually pretty normal, although were lucky, as we can go to the beach ANNNYYYYYtime. which, yeah, everyone does. all the houses are fucking spanish-style, which drives anyone north of the carolina's insane ("this looks like a mexican resteraunt...") and every single thing has palm trees and pastel colors on it. 3/4 people are probably elders. most people are pretty tan all the time. or sunburned. whatever. nobody likes the cops here. or the "endangered" birds, which convientiently land in front of the car when you're running late, and only then, while hitting them is illegal. ("they don't seem too fucking endangered, they never leave!") education is sitting in a non-air conditioned classroom with a teacher that hates you as much as you hate them. everyone honestly thinks orlando is the capitol. there are way too many people "passionate" about the gators. the daytona 500 isn't really a big deal. drugs are crazy, as well as "gettoh" kids that think living outside of a gated community is hardcore. ("welcome to the gunshine state muthurrr.") shut up and drink you're orange juice, YOU'RE IN FLORIDA!