fishturds

“Fishturds” are a precipitate (created from supersaturation and not a chemical reaction) commonly found in bottled beverages that have been given time to settle. They are mainly composed of sugar and food dye. Just like snowflakes, no two fishturds are alike and they often appear as small clumps of green-brown nast (hence their name). As the beverage bottle is gently shaken, the fishturd muck at the bottom will start to float about in a similar fashion to silt in a pond. The removal of fishturds, and the consequent remedy of the ugly appearance of the drink, is easy; simply shake the bottle. Persons afflicted with Parkinson’s may never know their drink had once contained the sugar clots. Additionally, persons known to have seizures may be asked to hold their friend’s Sobe before it is opened, providing a suitable cover can be installed over the drink to prevent it from shattering and inflicting further injury upon the involuntarily break-dancing friend.