Fencing

A complete non-sport for fat women and skinny boys, as well as old guys who like to tickle each other with metal. Kids are often directed to this non-sport by soccer moms and and dads who want to think they will look hip and different if their kids are involved in something as useless and gay as fencing. Really, what hetero male wants to be seen poncing around in tights? This non-sport requires an ability to endure endless hours of boredom, whiny adults, and incompetent almost-coaches who want you to call them Master. In their language, they'll say Maestro, thinking you will think it sounds cool to say it. And they want you to spend every free dollar you have to do it. Then they will convince you that you are part of some elite group when, in reality, you're just another fencing queer spending your free time mincing around in white tights, white hose, and ballet-like shoes. Don't let these fencing fags fool you. True sports are things like football, boxing, snowboarding, surfing, kung fu, racing, and basically anything else that is actually requires true skill and is fun versus just pretending to. In addition, fencing faggots lie harder the deeper they get involved in this lame endeavor. They become so addicted to pointing their wanna-be swords at each other, they will tell you they are not gay ( lie ) and are athletes ( lie ) and come from a rich history of swordsman ( lie ). The equipment used today, unlike actual weapons used in duels of old, are not swords and do not have any ability to actually kill. Which is a pity, because then maybe they'd finally go away for good or at least consider putting on the frilly dress and being done with it. Seriously, if you want to get into a REAL martial art, get into one that you can actually USE for self-defense. Kung Fu, Karate, or Boxing.