English

A. The main language spoken in the British Isles, the USA, Canada and Australia. B. A person who comes from England. There are 4 main types of English person: 1. The Posh Nob The steroetypical english person who died out in the 1800s. Typically seen as well spoken, wearing a bowler hat and moustache, and swiping away poor people with his cane. 2. The Farmer Typical of most rural places in England. Normally an overweight middle-aged man wearing dirty overalls and a straw hat. Most common phrases are "Ooo-ar!" and any swearword concievable. Not as gentle as they look. 3. The Chav A growing breed of English person. Loud, aggressive, obsessed with their looks and becoming a 'gangsta'. Normal IQ is about 31. Reproduces at an alarming rate. 4. The Non-English English Person That asian bloke who runs the Off-Licence. For any American readers there is an easy way to tell the difference between the English, Irish, Scottish and Welsh. This is vital if you wish to tour the UK in one piece: 1. Irish people get drunk and fight each other. 2. English people get drunk and shag each other. 3. Welsh people get drunk and shag sheep. 4. Scottish people get drunk and fight each other. Then they sober up and continue to fight each other.