Ellet
"Ellet, Ohio" -- A close-knit, mostly white, semi-isolationist, middle-class, and rather earthy suburban enclave believed to be located at the southeastern boundary of Akron, though the actual side of which remains in dispute. Founded in 1918 as a spin-off of Springfield Township, Ellet was to be an independent community, but was totally overwhelmed by the population influx initiated by Akron's booming Rubber Industry during the 1920s. As an unincorporated community that could not meet demand for city services, Ellet sought a rather unconventional move for a suburb -- annexation to the rapidly urbanizing city of Akron, which took place in 1929. Although present day Ellet is technically a part of Akron, it continues to rather jealously guard its identity and small-town suburban character, and as a result bears little resemblance to any other part of the eastern side of town, and even most other area suburbs. Ellet has been more successful than much of the rest of suburbia at fending off numerous attempted invasions by McMansion developers and strip mall retail (please see the "Montrose Effect"), though it has lost several decisive McMansion development battles in recent years to Akron developer and millionaire tycoon David Brennan. "Downtown" Ellet is the stretch of Ellet's "main street," Canton Road, which consists of the Eastgate Plaza and a number of nearby buildings which feature banks, stores, eateries, insurance agencies and law offices. The real pride and heart of the community, however, may be Ellet High School, which, despite being a part of the bealeaguerd-yet-resillient Akron Public Schools system, has managed to retain a strong and unwavering tradition of academic and athletic excellence. Ellet High School's mascot is the Orangeman, believed to have been inspired by Syracuse. It's official colors are Orange and White, although Blue has seen an increase in both use and popularity in the school and around the community in recent years. Ellet is home of the Ellet Athletic Association, recognized as one of the most successful in the state of Ohio. In addition, it is the home of the Akron Fulton Municipal Airport, the former Goodyear Aerospace Airdock where Goodear Rubber and Tire Co. once constructed and launched its' blimps, the Rubber Bowl football stadium, and Derby Downs, home of the Akron Soap Box Derby.
The Urban Dictionary Mug
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War. War Never Changes. War, war never changes. In the year 1945, my great-great grandfather, serving in the army, wondered when he get to go home to his wife and the son he never see. He got his wish, when the U.S. ended WWII by dropping an atomic cloud on Hiroshima and Nagasaki. The world awaited Armageddon, instead, something miraculous happened. We began to use atomic energy as a nearly limitless source of power. People enjoyed luxury once thought in the realm of science fiction. Domestic robots, fusion powered cars, portable computers. Then, in the 21st century, people awoke from the American dream. Years of consumption led to the shortages of every major resource. The entire world unraveled. Peace became a distant memory. It is now the year 2077, and we stand on the brink of total war, and I am afraid, for myself, for my wife, for my infant son, because if my time in the army taught me one thing; is that war, war never changes.
Excellent satire - didn't see comments to that end, so find it hard to fathom if most readers, in turn, didn't laugh out loud, and say so. But apparently not.
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