East Duck Hollow

place. A town in Alberta, Canada, home to both the Memorial Cup winning Canards and their cross-town rivals the Screaming Raptures, with a rich and vibrant past, a violent present, and a glorious future. Site of the third-largest ethylene recycling plant on the tundra and the fifth tallest water tower on the planet this "Gateway To The Heart of Rimbey" is perfectly placed to reap the benefits of the coming world hydroethylene shortage. A maze of cunning cul-de-sacs leads tourists on a circuitous path past an interesting procession of lemonade stands in summer and frozen waffle tables in winter. Tourists can watch the bicephalicducks wallow on the settling ponds or visit the Canadian Fossil Museum where Kenny Shields and Mike Reno host "Sleep With A Dinosaur Night" every Friday. Twice voted "Small Towne Of The Centurey" by the local creative spelling club Duck Hollow has a rich history of social conservativism as well as a Wacky-Wednesday at the Veterans of the Legion Hall where ethnic dress is encouraged. A memorial gibbet placed in the centre of the main roadway honours the memory of the last survivor of the Hutterite Wars, Glen Hofer. While too small and out of the way to attract major touring bands, Duck Hollow hosts a music festival each summer "Ethylene Feedstock" which has featured such tribute bands as The Guess Whose, Michael Jack's Son, Doctor's Hooker, Bond-Jovi Bond, and oddly enough, U2. ..............................