Doom Spoon

This is the large cooking spoon your mom used to beat your ass with when you were bad. Often made of plastic and large enough to whale on 2 asses at one time, the doom spoon was able to withstand years of abuse. The doom spoon typically came with holes in it to prevent wind resistance and increase velocity, pre-impact. The doom spoon also often was used as a projectile when the target could not be reached, e.g. when the target climbs a tree to avoid the beating, the doom spoon may be thrown at the ass to inflict low-level pain. The doom spoon typically has a 15 year shelf life. Once the child turns 15, the doom spoon becomes more humorous than painful. The 16th year of life is often referred to as "the doom spoon-free year."