Dirty Cobbler

The Dirty Cobbler is a three part culinary experience. Part one (the crumble): The base of the cobbler must be constructed, this may involve a number of techniques dependent on resources available. A female base, requires the base individual to refrain from washing her vagina for 3-5 days in order to build a healthy yet fresh crust, that can be crumbled using fingers – dependent on taste. A male base, involves intentionally reducing effort in wiping one’s anus (2-4 days) in order to leave winnets, these can be hardened in direct contact with sun light – dependent on taste. If time constraints prevail both genders may choose the short option of placing a digestive biscuit (cookie) into a plastic bag and crumbling by hitting it with a rolling pin, penis or penises, before placing this in the orifice of your choice. Part two (the fruit sauce), the other person must eat 300g of Peaches, Pineapple, or Mango 6-8 hours before, then proceed to ejaculate onto the pre-made cobbler base. Part Three (dining), The completed cobbler is then eaten by the ejaculator, spoon fed to the base individual, or consumed by an interested third party.