Derpies

Derpies is an increasingly prevalent socially-transmitted disease that impairs mental function in afflicted individuals. Derpies has become as common as one-in-two individuals on average in the world's population. The level of concentration of affected individuals increases the risk of exposure and transmission exponentially. Despite this fact, rural areas appear equally affected as urban areas. Cooperative vigilance and increased awareness are strongly advised as the only effective deterrents to the spread of this illness. Symptoms of Derpies include: Decline in common sense Impairment of motor functions Reduction in observational skills Appreciation of reality television Pattern of poor decisionmaking Increased laugh response Reckless driving and parking Misuse of commonly used words Distortion of spacial reasoning Excessive quasi-aggressive physical contact If four or more of the listed symptoms apply to you, a friend or a loved one, Derpies may have already taken root in your social environment. Unlike its permanent, sexually-transmitted cousin; Herpes, the non-permanent Derpies is potentially deadly. It is important for affected individuals to seek academic assistance immediately to mitigate Derpies-associated risks to your social well-being.