daily mail

1. Snobbish and obsessed with 'proper diction' 2. Obsesses over royalty, members of the aristocracy, and the upper classes in the same way that the Sun obsesses over Z-list celebrities and WAGs 3. Home to Richard Littlejohn, a self-satisfied prick who can't spell the name of the Iranian president and therefore refers to him as President I'madinnerjacket; insists upon spelling things phonetically to make himself feel superior; scaremongers over: taxes, Gordon Brown, so-called 'political correctness' and the apparent failures of the UK police force; displays clearly bigoted views yet claims not to be racist 4. Home to Amanda Platell, who is clearly a female misogynist and hates Natasha Kaplinsky, presumably purely because, despite her many flaws, she isn't a moon-faced, woman-hating cow who writes for a tabloid rag 5. Home to a whole host of prejudiced idiots whose parents were probably Daily Mail readers and members of the National Front; they should be sat down and told that not all immigrants want to kill them, and no immigrants want their job. In fact, NOBODY wants their job. 6. Actually believed that bird flu was going to wipe out half the world; believed the same about every single so-called epidemic before it; predicts The End Of The World every other month, whether it be by asteroid, epidemic or nuclear war 7. Read by impressionable fools who base their own opinions on the Daily Mail's bullshit 8. Has an on-off feud with The Times; hates The Independent, Polly Toynbee, Tony Blair, and, surprisingly, David Cameron, because he does not subscribe to their particular brand of Right-wing politics; disdains the Sun, the Daily Star, the Mirror and the News of the World despite being only one rung above them (purely because their page 3 happens not to have a topless woman on it); sister paper to the Daily Express 9. Believes everybody should have a job, regardless of illness, is under the impression that depression is not a valid illness and that anybody on benefits is Leeching Off the Welfare State and Stealing Taxpayer's Hard-Earned Money 10. Obsessed with Taxpayer's Money and the fact that they are taxpayers 11. Obsessed with hating speeding fines and speed cameras 12. Has to have an article EVERY SINGLE FUCKING DAY about 'PC gone mad', purely to further its BNP-loving, homophobic, racist, Islamophobe agenda 13. Constantly self-publicises, telling its readers that it has won another award or that one of its precious 'campaigns' have made the world a better place. Fond of saying 'as we always said' or 'as the Daily Mail has said from the start' 14. Believes date rape and marital rape are completely acceptable, and that all women should join the Submissive Wives movement 15. Exaggerates everything