dad
I want to beat you to death with a blunt object. I want to grab one of those high-end fashion mannequins by the ankles and bash your ribcage in. I want to sharpen fifty pencils, bind them with a rubber band, stick the lead ends in your mouth, and punch the erasers. I want to strap you to a bed of nails and then strap that bed of nails to the hood of my car so I can watch you suffer as we drive over speed bumps in a mall parking lot during an earthquake. I want to burn your dog in front of you, mix his ashes with gunpowder, melt his bone-shaped name tag into a small metal ball, load it all into a musket, and shoot you in the face with it. I want you to somehow survive a terrible car crash and then somehow not survive a small fender bender on the way back from the hospital. thank you that poems called dad -bo burnham
The Urban Dictionary Mug
The most coolest I own!
Cole m's girlfriend loved this mug we have an uncontrollable love for eachother

Easy to order and packaged well!!
It's an amazing product!
The mug is a lot of fun and arrived as promised! Thank you
Just what we ordered, arrived in perfect condition, arrived on time! Excellent!
So fun! Looks just like I expected. I like that I could edit the mug to say what I want.
got one for Cole M.'s mother, she loved it! Best mediocrely- timed sex ever!!!
The mug is beautiful and I love it! Thank you for having a handle large enough for a man to hold onto! ♥️
Mug printed nicely. Great gift idea.
Really great! Your custom mugs are amazing and hilarious
lit af my name is Frey and the def isnt true but its so great
Cole M. got me one for my birthday, fastest sex ever
Cole M. got this for me. best sex of my life.
Got it for Cole M. girlfriend. Slowest sex of my life.
Fucking awesome. Bought this while drunk and don't regret it.
Cole M. gifted one for me on my birthday. I will never forget that day. 10/10
I didn’t get one yet but if I did it would also be for Cole M.’s girlfriend, we would have amazing sex
Was a gift and arrived on time. Just as advertised. Lots of fun.
The price is a little bit expensive, but the gift arrived as ordered. Thanks!
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