A complete waste of time that ruins your life
Programmer1: Hey, why are you using visual basic Programmer2: Because i'm a mindless zombie and Bill Gates is my master. NEVER QUESTION BILL!!!! *Programmer 2 stuffs computer down Programmer 1's throat*
By Yelsew Foolface
A proprietary programming language developed by Microsoft to allow lazy people to code programs that only run a little bit more slowly than raytracing a detailed environment on a hand-operated processor.
C++ Programmer: Hey man! What are you programming? Visual Basic Programmmer: I'm writing something to find all the music tracks on my computer and write their file paths into an m3u playlist. C++ Programmer: Wow! How long have you been working on that?? It sounds really intense! Visual Basic Programmer: 10 minutes.. and I'll be done in another 5. Perl Programmer: *walks in* Hey guys, look at this! I wrote a script to find all the music tracks on my computer and write them to an m3u playlist in a little bit less than 90 seconds!
By Daedalus_Prime
A programming language for morons, and people that are too stupid to learn real programming languages. It is commonly taught in schools and colleges, so retards can understand it and become "leet".
Him: Man, i'm cool because I know Visual Basic. Me: No, you're not.
By I need no introduction.
A powerful RAD (rapid application development) progamming language that allows for easy creation of [windows] programs. Its main flaw is the fact that micro$hit made it, and therefore under their monopoly, it only runs on [windows]. Another complaint is about the way many new users use the language. They just paste a couple of objects on a form, user a few undeclared variables (variants, which are slow), and run the program. A real program creates objects at runtime and user delared variables at all times (forced by Option Explicit.) Other than that, it is a good language. It is easy enough to learn for beginners (unlike other languages such as java/[C]++) and powerful enough to perform complicated calculations and make [windows]-[based] programs and games with readable code.
'This is a sample [VB] program 'It finds the prime factors of any number the user specifies 'Declare Objects Dim WithEvents txtNumber As TextBox Dim WithEvents lblPrime As [Label] Dim WithEvents cmdFactor As CommandButton Private Sub cmdFactor_[Click]() Dim counter&, answer$, number& '[Check] to make sure user entered a [valid] number If Not IsNumeric(txtNumber) Then Exit Sub If [Len](txtNumber) = 0 Or txtNumber > 2000000000 Or Sgn(txtNumber) = -1 Then Exit Sub 'Create variable = to what user entered. number = txtNumber 'factor out 2's Do While number [Mod] 2 = 0 number = number / 2 answer = answer & " * 2" [Loop] 'factor out other numbers For counter = 3 To number Step 2 Do While number [Mod] counter = 0 'exit when primes are exhausted If number = 1 Then Exit Do number = number / counter answer = answer & " * " & counter [Loop] Next counter 'results MsgBox [Right]$(answer, [Len](answer) - 3), 15, "The Prime Factors of " & txtNumber & " are..." 'gives the textbox focus txtNumber.SetFocus End Sub Private Sub Form_KeyDown(KeyCode%, Shift%) 'pressing escape exits the program If KeyCode = 27 Then Unload Me End Sub Private Sub Form_Load() 'set up form With Me .KeyPreview = True .Move (Screen.Width - .Width) \ 2, (Screen.Height - .Width) \ 2 End With Set txtNumber = Controls.Add("VB.TextBox", "txtNumber") With txtNumber .Move (Me.Width - .Width) \ 2, (Me.Height - .Width) \ 2 .Visible = True End With Set lblPrime = Controls.Add("VB.[Label]", "lblPrime") With lblPrime .Caption = "Find Prime Factors Of What Number?" .Move txtNumber.Left, txtNumber.[Top] - 800, .Width, .Height + 400 .Visible = True End With Set cmdFactor = Controls.Add("VB.CommandButton", "cmdFactor") With cmdFactor .Caption = "Factor" .Default = True .Move txtNumber.Left, txtNumber.[Top] + 800 .Visible = True End With End Sub Private Sub Form_Terminate() 'clean up Dim clrObject As Object For Each clrObject In Me clrObject = "" Next clrObject End End Sub
This definition is too long for this mug.
A programming language and development environment that object oriented programmers think they are above. While a [windows] program with a graphical user interface in [C]++ may take months in terms of laying the groundwork and API necessary to perform certain functions, the Visual [Basic] equivalent could take ten minutes.
C++ Programmer: Hey man! What are you programming? Visual [Basic] Programmmer: I'm writing something to find all the [music] tracks on my computer and write their file paths into an m3u playlist. C++ Programmer: Wow! How long have you been working on that?? It sounds really intense! Visual [Basic] Programmer: 10 minutes.. and I'[ll] be done in another 5. C++ Programmer: Dude, if you were l33t like me, you would be programming in C++. Visual Basic: Really? Right now I'm writing an FTP Server! What was the last thing you programmed? C++ Programmer: Um, I wrote tic tac toe.. Visual Basic Programmer: Really? For [Windows]? That's pretty cool. C++ Programmer: Actually its for the console. Java Programmer: Dude, portability is where its at. Your sleasy Visual Basic program is only good on a Micro$hit computer. Visual Basic Programmer: Yea well.. When was the last time you compiled a java app for a non [Windows] machine? Java Programmer: Actually never. Computer Science College Student who only learned C++: I have never programmed anything useful in my life. I yearn to be one of 3,000 programming a single function working on Microsoft's [Windows] [2020].
This definition is too long for this mug.