What's on your mug?

A phrase quite obviously inspired by John [Madden]. Contrary to popular belief, [Captain] Obvious is capable of flying but is afraid to, so he drives around the [country] in an RV, constantly on the lookout for blatantly obvious things to explain to the general public.

[Buffalo] trails New England by three at the two minute warning. When we return, that means [Buffalo] will have two minutes left to try to score. A field goal will tie the game. A touchdown will put [Buffalo] ahead. If [Buffalo] scores with any time left on the clock, New England will have a chance to score. If [Buffalo] kicks a field goal, a field goal will be enough for New England to win the game. If Buffalo scores a touchdown, New England will need a touchdown to win the game. Unless Buffalo misses the extra point, in which case New England can tie the game with a field goal following Buffalo's field goal. Of course, any time remaining will give Buffalo another chance to score and go ahead. Oh, and I've talked for so [long] that the game is now over. I don't think Buffalo scored. Now if you'll excuse me I need to attend to my, "ahem", other civic duties by driving around the country in my ridiculous RV, alerting the American public that gas costs more than it did last year, there are 50 stars on the U.S. flag (same as the number of states!!), Bill Clinton had a fling with an intern IN THE OVAL OFFICE, and I am the most colossal jackass in the history of RV-driving douchebags ever to announce pro [football] games on a level far below the intelectual capacity of a first trimester fetus conceived via [incest]. Until next Monday Night, with Al Michaels, this is Captain Obvious.

This definition is too long for this mug.