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god

A god is a supreme being who will give you good stuff if you honor them. They will screw you if you dis them. A god is not to be confused with God. God is one dude. A god is any of a number of dudes. All gods put together, do the same work as God. The water god, the fire god, the fertility god, the pizza god. There are also godesses. The fertility goddess and fertility god are joined together at the crotch. If you pray to God, you go to heaven. If you pray to a god, you get what they specialize in. Pray to the pizza god, and you get a tasty pizza. Pray to the fire god, and he gives you some wood to rub together, or a lighter.

Tom: "I wish we had a baby." Lucy: "Me too. I guess I should pray to the fertility god." Tom: "While you're at it, pray to the fertility godess too." Lucy: "pray, pray, pray. pray. O great god and godess of the giant womb in the sky, please get me knocked up." Later-- Tom: "Holy shit Lucy! I'm getting a big boner." Lucy: "O my fucking god. I'm getting horny and wet in my vagina." Tom: "What the hell is going on? What do I do with this boner?" Lucy: "O Tom, place your giant penis inside me, and we shall make a baby." hump, hump, hump. Later- Tom: "I think I'l pray to the cigarette god for a pack of Camel Lights." Lucy: "and I'll pray to the god of fire for a lighter." Tom: "I'll pray to the pizza god for a family size anchovie and jalapeno double cheese hand tossed pizza." God: "Thou shalt have no gods before Me! To Hell with you!" Tom and Lucy: "O God Damn!" POOF!

By morningwould

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